A man in India has become the first example of a successful bilateral hand transplant after undergoing surgery recently. According to an article on the groundbreaking news, he’s a painter, meaning he probably can’t wait to get a brush in his hands once more. According to one Twitter user, though, they’d be most excited about being able to jerk off again.



The 45-year-old painter, who lost his hands in a train accident in 2020, was given the hands of a former administrative head of a South Delhi school who was declared brain dead. In addition to donating their hands, their kidney, liver and corneas were donated to three other patients. The surgery took longer than 12 hours and involved “connecting every artery, muscle, tendon and nerve” between the donor hands and the painter’s arms.


But enough about medical miracles. Let’s get back to the masturbation talk. Another tweeter pointed out that you’d be jerking off with some other guy’s hands, to which OP responded, “He’s gay for jerking me off.” But plot twist! The donor was a woman, so it’s no longer gay. To that, OP joked, “Damn he’s gonna have some soft hands to crank it down with that’s awesome.”



Another person in the replies who claimed to be a physical therapist pointed out that jerking off was probably a great form of rehab following this kind of transplant, meaning you could find yourself prescribed some medically-mandated masturbation. While nobody needs an excuse to rub one out, it certainly doesn’t hurt.


Assuming the man isn’t as dirty-minded as the denizens of Twitter, I hope he has a long and fulfilling life using his new hands to paint and create and cook and whatever else he wants to do, lest we forget that masturbation is just one of the many things human beings can do with our hands.