Some days go by faster than others. If you have a normal brain, you might think that this is due to humans having a shifting perception of time depending on what activity we’re doing.

However, if you’ve opened your third eye (and ironed out some of the wrinkles in your frontal cortex), you’re probably a bit more suspicious. Maybe there’s some greater conspiracy going on here. In fact, maybe it’s not me who’s wrong, but everyone’s entire perception of time itself!

And who’s to blame for this? The Reptilians, duh.

Are reptilians somehow speeding up time (seconds) because they don't want us to have free time? (rant)
byu/truther555 inconspiracyNOPOL

Redditor truther555 has been making the rounds across Reddit’s various conspiracy boards with a simple idea: Reptilians are speeding up the clock in order to take away our precious free time. A fair warning — explaining this is about as bad as watching Tenet, but stick with me here.

In short, truther555 thinks that reptilians are using their powers to speed up time in order to prevent us from “accumulat[ing] knowledge.” The mechanism through which they do this is, uh, magic, I guess, though he does mention the idea of “lower[ing] your vibration” in another post, so maybe that has something to do with it.

“I’m talking about a technology that lets them manipulate the superimposed quantum state of the earth in order to make it spin faster than normal, thus making the days shorter,” he writes in a comment.

Sure, buddy.

Seeing this, you may think a theory this bold requires evidence. Thankfully, truther555 has some: he’s bad at counting.

“I counted to 10 at my natural pace and got 12 seconds. I also counted to 10 using one one thousand and got 20 seconds,” he writes in one post. This isn’t a sign of his lack of natural rhythm, he states, but evidence that time itself is getting faster by the less-than-a-minute.

“We’re gonna get to a point where people (normies) will have to be somehow teleported to work because physically getting to school/work is gonna take at least 5 hours,” he details. “And if you notice it you’re the crazy one. You’re just getting older!”

While some commenters (rightfully) laughed him out of the thread, others humored the idea. “Yes this would align with the saturn moon matrix theory, ‘energy harvesting,’ Dark City, Sailor Moon, The Forgotten, etc. Including high level experiments/tech etc that cause disruption to time space,” said a commenter who I assume is serious. As for why, one commenter states, “If I were to a take a guess, I would say to harvest the loosh”—which is conspiracy slang for “life force.”

If you believe truther555, well, best of luck with the rest of your life, but fear not — the Redditor insists there are methods for slowing down your own personal clock. However, if you really believe this, maybe what you need is not a new internal clock, but a long conversation with a shrink.