I was riding the bus to work on Monday when I heard over the bus radio that the police needed all drivers to be on the lookout for a "black man, approximately 6 feet tall, appears transient, very strong smell of urine and has his shoes hanging around his neck. I repeat, has shoes hanging around his neck." He was said to be involved with a very violent act on MUNI (our public transportation), but no other information was given.

Apparently, this guy has stabbed two people already.

So this morning I was on my way to work, when I heard the bus driver talking shit to a black man, approximately 6 feet tall, who had been violently yelling at himself for a good portion of the trip. I went over my check list:

• Black Man. (CHECK)
• Approximately 6 feet tall. (CHECK)
• Appears Transient. (SHOWING SIGNS OF WEAR/POSSIBLE CHECK)
• Strong Odor. (NOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO KNOW)
• Shoes Around His Neck (NO)

That's when it hit me: What if he's put his shoes on by now? How will we know who he is? Where most criminals who are evading the law historically have to dye their hair, or wear fake stache's or cross dress, this man only has to slip on his shoes (HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO TIE THEM!)

I hope for the sake of the SFPD, and for all of us at large, that that man keeps his shoes around his neck and off of his feet.