All rise for Judge Ryan - all parties in the matter of AndrewRyan v. eScam World, step forward.
AndrewRyan (pictured above after bathing in his golden plated jacuzzi) was recently the victim of a worldwide scam involving the so-called "fair and lenient" moderators of eScam World. Andrew claims that a certain moderator who reeked of used yarmulkes attempted to sell Andrew a ten dollar t-shirt, festooned in outrageously disgusting designs that essentially promoted eScam World's presence on the Internet.
PepperPeanut, the founder of eScam World (pictured above), claims that ... well, Pepper doesn't really have a case considering that Andrew has enough legitimate proof to throw Pepper in Internet jail, along with his cohorts.
After carefully reading Mr. Ryan's coherent and overall awesome argument, I was compelled to see the travesty behind the notoriously popular eScam World. Upon entering the website, I noticed a plethora of black males with thick Nigerian accents demanding for its users to involve themselves in their eBone system. Although the system APPEARED to be innocent, it was in fact the complete opposite: Pepper and his cohorts were exploiting the system by forcing its users to steal videos and content from other websites, posting them on eScam World, and then rewarding its minions with two or three eBones.
Mr. Ryan, who is indubitably powerful both physical and mental wise, easily surpassed the lies and scams that Pepper and his cohorts continually spammed and managed to display enough evidence to get Pepper thrown into the cyber police jail, where he will spend his days spinning dreidels and eating pound cake from Starbucks. Here is the shocking evidence:
As you can clearly see, Mr. Ryan approached Mr. MacDreidel in a very calm fashion, without any intent to cause harm. MacDreidel, the aggressive and overly rambunctious moderator who pleases his sadism by banning people with no reason, was greeted by a complaint from Mr. Ryan, who politely stated the wrongdoings behind the high price for a mere t-shirt. Originally, Mr. Ryan assumed that ten thousand eBones was equal to one hundred American dollars but, in a rude manner, Mr. MacDreidel corrected Mr. Ryan by blatantly claiming the value for an eScam World t-shirt as being ten American dollars. Mr. MacDreidel then followed the correction with an unnecessary "moron" and called Mr. Ryan "the fuck out the shit," which is obviously incoherent and quite appalling , considering the so-called "intellectual record" that eScam World holds.
Mr. Ryan then argued that he could simply go to the Gap or Old Navy and purchase a ninety-nine cent t-shirt and simply write "eScam World" on the face of the shirt. As Mr. Ryan stated this, Mr. MacDreidel noticed a sudden uprising against the notions behind eScam World and decided to quell the crowd by banning Mr. Ryan for an unknown period of time.
Above is Mr. MacDreidel wearing one of the t-shirts, brilliantly smiling to reveal the truth about his sex life. Mr. MacDreidel and his superior Mr. PepperPeanut have unfortunately sold many of these shirts to the brain washed morons who inhabit eScam World and have made at least ten billion dollars in the process ... a worldwide Ponzi scheme, if you ask me. Also, take note of the material: it is most likely two percent cotton, with the other ninety-eight percent coming from the dead skin cells of the Chinese labor children who spent days and days in creating one mere t-shirt.
That being said, I shall declare Mr. Ryan as the winner and award Mr. Ryan all of the earnings that eScam World has made from selling these unkempt t-shirts. Also, I would like Mr. PepperPeanut and Mr. MacDreidel to follow the two cyber policemen standing outside the courtroom in order to await their Internet jail sentences. That is all, case closed.