Here is a link to a 20-question AA test to "Help you decide if you have an alcohol problem." 

http://www.step12.com/alcoholic-20-questions.html

Read it if you like but it asks if you have ever lost your memory because of booze or if you've ever drank alone or if drinking boosts your confidence and similar "Duh" questions. According to the test, if you answer just on question with a yes you might be an alcoholic. Three yes answers means you ARE an alcoholic. I answered yes to more than that. Figures.

I don't think that test accurately determines if you are a REAL alcoholic. I have created my own test to see if you are a REAL alcoholic. Here are my 20 questions. Be truthful with yourself. If you answer yes to ALL 20 then you are a full blown drunk. Any less than that and you don't have to worry.

1. Have you ever drank so much to get courage to talk to someone you wanted to bang that you puked and totally blew ANY chance you might have had?

2. Has your significant other ever made you promise not to get too wasted before you entered a party?

3. Have you ever, while drunk, mixed a concoction of food so nasty that the dishes grossed you out the next morning?

4. Have you ever lost your car while drunk?

5. Have you ever drank an alcohol you hated just for the buzz?

6. Have you ever drank salty cooking wine?

7. Has your toddler ever asked you if you needed a beer?

8. Have you ever had to go to the ER because of an injury sustained while drunk?

9. Do you have any permanent scars from drunken mishaps?

10. Has anyone ever referred to your drinking as, "Your drinking."

11. Have you ever had a sexual encounter while drunk that you regretted in the morning?

12. At an event where alcohol is present, have you ever snuck extra shots because they weren't drinking fast enough for you?

13. Has a drinking buddy ever told you to slow down?

14. Have you ever passed out only to wake up a few hours later and start drinking again?

15. Have you ever cringed while looking at your cell phone call log the next morning?

16. Have you ever been so drunk while walking you couldn't stay on the sidewalk?

17. Have you ever tried to remember what you just said to a stranger to get him to the point where he is about to hit you?

18. Have you ever had a cop tell you to pour out your drink and instead of being thankful for the warning, been pissed that you have to dump your booze?

19. Have you ever drank the same day you swore you would never drink again?

20. Have you ever knocked over the Christmas tree while drunk?

I have to answer 'YES' to all 20 of these. How did you do?