asian parents: proven to result in better grades
cigarettes: because you go to community college
adderall: when you need to stay up all night memorizing a page of notes for the final
Guitar: career backup plan
Starbucks gift card: because you need to be at starbucks to feel motivated
Atlas Shrugged: because you’re just the type of winner described in an Ayn Rand novel.
Notebook: to write the subject name on the front and then never open again.