Cleveland was a great place to live when the economy was great.  We had summers full of fun activities.  One such activity was River Fest.  People would fill the Cuyahoga (pronounced ky-uh-HOGE-uh) River with boats and party.  Whiskey Island became the best place to view shows and boats.  There were concerts, huge parties (both on and off water), and boat shows.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

                River Fest was so huge that it drew Hollywood A-Listers from the time, both from TV and movies.  One such A-Lister was Heather Locklear.  River Fest is the reason that she will never return to Cleveland ever again (more on that later).

                As with all city festivals, various types of people are drawn to come out.  The vast majority of people enjoyed themselves responsibly.  And, others were quite rowdy when they were there.  While standing on a bridge looking a boats passing under, I saw a beautiful woman in a skimpy bikini.  She looked up at me, smiled, and dropped her top.  Being young at the time, it was great to see boobs on display like that (hell, who am I kidding?  Its always great to see boobs on display).

                I made my way to a water taxi and headed to Whiskey Island.  On a side note, I will tell you how Whiskey Island got its name.   Irish immigrants did much of the labor to build the Erie Canal and a rechanneling project to move the mouth of the river.  They lived on a spit of land that was converted to an island.  Being Irish, they made their own whiskey.  The island was jokingly called Whiskey Island, and the name stuck.

                Now, Ill go back to the main story.  I was enjoying a concert from a local band.  Having had a day full of sun and fun, I went home.  I turned on the evening news and saw that Heather Locklear had been at the fest.  They also said that she had been injured.  Someone had gotten into a shouting match with someone on another boat.  That guy got mad and threw a beer bottle.  He missed his target and hit Locklear in the forehead.  She was rushed to the hospital and had to have emergency plastic surgery.  Thus is the reason that she will never return to Cleveland.