Crazy drunk hillbilly in a truck

This story takes place last year when I was a senior in high school.

I had just got home from a track meet that was in Mars, PA. It was a long meet started at 3 and didn't end until about 10ish. I'll skip the boring details of the meet and the boring ride home. I got home at some time between 1 and 2. To my surprise when I got home my friend, Rob, was waiting on my porch for me.

I walked up my steps and asked him what he was up. He said, "We're going to Doug's to drink and hang out," I agreed, but went inside to put my stuff away and to grab a bottle of whiskey. We decided to walk to Doug's because it wasn't that far and Rob wanted to see if he could get some thing off his mom who works at one of the local bars. I think it is important that I mention that Rob is really high. He's so high he can barely keep his eyes open high.

That being said we can move on with the story. We're walking on the main street in town when all of a sudden Rob gets paranoid. "Dude! We gotta get off this rode!" he yells, as he runs down an alley. "Slow the fuck down asshole I just had a meet!" I yell, as I run up to him. "What the fuck are you running for?" I question angerily. "Don't like that road right now man." he says, as he burst into laughter. So we start jogging for a bit and evnetually slow back down to a walk.

"Are we going to see your mom?" I asked. "What? Huh? Why would we do that?" apparently he was too high to remember he needed to get something off her. I explain it to him, "Your mom. Don't you remember you said your dumb ass needed to get something off her?" "Oh yea, I'll text her right now." So we stop for a bit standing in a dark alley as he texts his mom.

Without warning Rob starts speed walking away. I do as well and ask him what's up. Rob, "We gotta go man we gotta go." I stop, "What do you mean we have to go? What's up?" Rob panicked turns around back towards me, "My mom said there is a lot of fucked up people out tonight. She said we better get to Doug's quick." "Dude you're just paranoid. Too much weed man calm down we'll be fine."

Rob seemed to be relaxed from what I said and we continued to walk at a normal pace for about 2 seconds when we see this pick up in a bar parking lot. Rob freaks out, "I'm out of here fuck this." He goes to run I grab him by the shoulder, "What are you afraid of? There's no one in it, and even if there was why would they bother us? We're just walking through an alley."

So, we walk by the truck and I was wrong there was someone inside it. It was dark and I couldn't see the guy, but I heard him. Right as we pass the truck's passanger window a voice says, "Ey boy." Rob books it down the long alley there's no turnoffs until the end and this was a huge alley. I just keep walking for about 3 more steps when I hear the "Ey boy." again I turn around to see what the fuck this drunk wants, and I see him peel out of his parking spot in reverse. "Oh fuck!" I thought to myself. Then he puts it in drive and floors it. I fucking ran for my life. All I could think of was getting rundown and then having this drunk red necked son of a bitch rape my lifeless body. I couldn't let that happen. I ran faster than I ever ran in my life. I caught up to Rob, but I could hear the mother fucker's truck getting closer. We're not making it to the end of this alley I thought. No fucking way we are. Finally a small opening it's a house I grab Rob and throw him and myself behind the house's bushes. We're both kneeling down behind the bushes as we see the truck fly by and out of the alley. I look behind us and see the yard has one of them wooden fences that are hard to jump. I tap Rob so he sees the fence too, "If he comes back and has a gun (these drunk as hillbillies always have a shotgun) we have to jump that." Rob nods and we hear the pick up again we turn back around to the alley and see the pick up flying in reverse. It passes us then stops goes in drive and stops right infront of us. "Fuck!" was all I could think. Rob is beyound scared he's shaking with fear and holding onto my arm. The guy just sits there with his engine running. We just lay low for what seems like for ever. It was really only a minute. Then the guy just leaves. I push Rob off me, "Back up I'm not trying to get your piss all over my arm." "Shut up! We almost died you asshole." He screams. "Not even close." I say, trying to make it look like I wasn't scared.

So, being the geniuses we are after we make it to the end of the alley we nearly got ran over in we decide to go down another. We're not far into it when we see another truck parked off to the side. I don't think anything of it and keep walking. Rob grabs me pulls me back, "We're turning around that's him." he says all panicked. "That's who?" I questioned thinking it was a different truck. "The crazy mother fucker who almost ran us over who do you think." Rob says whispering. I guess he didn't want the guy to notice us. Before I can say no it's not I hear the too familiar "Ey Boy." "Fuck! Go!" I scream as we run out of the alley the way we came in. We take a right toward the main road and go into a cafe. As the door closes behind us we see the bastard speeding down the road.

"We're actually closed. I must have forgot to lock the door." One of the employees says, as he's mopping the floor. We leave and head toward Doug's house this time staying on the main road. We didn't see the drunk son of a bitch again and most people who we tell the story to don't believe it. Don't know why it's not that unbelievable is it?

Oh one last thing I feel the need to mention that I went to high school in West Virginia and that's why I kept calling him a drunk hillbilly.

Uploaded 01/14/2009
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