so yesterday semi famous actor david carradine was found hanged in his hotel room in bangcock thailand. he was in country filming his new movie Stretch and the film crew grew suspicious upon his absence at a crew dinner.

now the official report says he was found by a maid hanging naked in his closet and that it was unclear whether it was an accident or suicide. kind of an ambiguous statement on its own buts lets read between the lines shall we? i myself have a slightly different theory id like to present to the users of ebaums for their consideration. now understand im in no way trying to take away from the tragedy of a person losing their life. what i do find suspect is the circumstances under which this has happened and the way its being approached by the media.

first: he was in bangcock, a city known for its myriad of sexual perversions, for the right price. from what i understand the working girls and boys there run about the same price as the average item on the mcdonalds value menu.

second: he was found hanged in his closet... naked. who the hell says to them self " im gonna leave this world with my swinging wang hanging out for all to see. the idea of a cold hotel room and crime scene photos alone would be enough to deter even the most dedicated of 'naturalists'. also if youre gonna hang yourself, why in the closet on the set of a movie where you know youll be found and your family humiliated.

third: the statement released to the press saying they werent sure if it was an accident or suicide. accident? who the hell accidently hangs themselves naked in a closet in thailand? rather i think this stament was a ploy meant to simultaneously protect his dignity while giving an ambiguous explanation to what happened.

so where am i going with all this you ask? well each of these facts alone means nothing, but when you put them all together it all becomes very clear.... you see i dont believe he intentionally killed himself. he hung himself yes, but not with the intention of suicide. you see i think david was basking in the liberal sexual attitude of our little brown buddies in thailand.  i think he picked up a little thai hooker (she boy or not) and was experimenting in a little auto erotic asphyxiation.

for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, auto erotic asphyxiation is the practice of cutting of ones breathing during sex to heighten the orgasm. david probably brought his new 'friend' up to his room, changed into something a little more comfortable and lacy, and proceeded to hang himself in his closet while experiencing the best thailand has to offer. upon looking up and seeing that he wasnt breathing, our little working girl probably freaked (thinking he was already dead), and grabbed her clothes and quietly let herself out. all this ending in him being discovered naked, hanging in a closet, in thailand. the combination of those words alone is a clue to the truth

this is ,of course, only a theory. but you have to admit, it explains all the little intricacies of the situation. one thing is for sure, bad happenings were happening that night in bangcock. whether it be david carradine enjoying a round of tummy sticks and a little auto asphyxiation with a local sheboy, or a horrible wardrobe accident. if its the former it was certainly a shitty way to go, should have just stuck to pay per view

Uploaded 06/05/2009
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