David Suzuki, You're such a Prick, A Short Story.

I've raised four boys and have enjoyed sharing the magic of Christmas with them. The birth of Christ, family outings, get togethers and of course, gift giving with Santa as the central theme.  Christmas is for kids and the holidays allow us adults to spend some extended time with them, providing a short time of bliss and wonderment in an ever serious World.

So along comes David Suzuki making claims that Santa and his elves are melting into the sea due to climate change. He is selling fictitious survival gear to help Santa, the Elves and his reindeer make a safe and successful escape to parts unknown. 

You can purchase non existent  reindeer water wings for $19.99. Rein Dance water wings are the only water wings on the market specially designed for flying reindeer. Eco-friendly neoprene and bio-based foam ensure durability and buoyancy while the patented design allows for full leg movement. Each wing is fitted with two valve sizes to allow for easy inflation by both elves and reindeer.  BULLSHIT!!!


For only $19.99 you can buy, non existent Elf Hockey Sticks!  Everyone knows how hard it is to adjust to life in a new town. Santas Elves will need to make new friends wherever they land, and the easiest way is to join the local shinny hockey game. Thats why Santa needs to stock up on elf-sized Hockey Sticks. Only 25% of the size, but 100% of the fun.

I say Fuck You David Suzuki, Fuck you hard and fuck you three ways to hell. Christmas is about family and children not about your narcissistic personal ambitions. How dare you try and raise money off of the fear of children. Check it out for yourselves. These Greeny nut jobs are a bunch of assholes!! Get the fuck away from our children!


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Uploaded 12/01/2011
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