Twas a hot summer day, back in 1981 when the hair was bigger, and the gas prices WEREN'T SO MOTHERFUCKING HIGH! I stepped out on the hot pavement hoping to get some fresh air, Than I couldn't believe my eyes. A warm breeze shot through the crisp air as I heard birds chirping there delightful summer tune. My crotch bulged like a sore thumb, as I gazed upon the sexiest creature my eyes have ever had the privelage to look at. There it was laying down on my hot side walk wearin tight leather pants and a pocket full of cocaine. I was aleays a sucker for the basement dwelling crack addicts. He was passed out so I took the pleasure of carrying him in to my home. He was filthy I got some nice hot bathwater runnin for the poor fella. I reached into his pocket hoping I could score some rock when finally he woke up and gazed me deep in the eyes, I will never forget his words that day " Hey where is the crapper in this shithole I gotta drop some timber".  directed him to the facility and sat by the door listening to him his farts made a gentle but soothing melody. As soon as he was done I asked him his name he said, Dave, my name is dave but you can just call me eastside_dave. I looked down and saw the biggest bush I have ever seen! A bush so big that trying to find his dick was like searchin for a green beret in a forest of bamboo!

      I woke up early in the morning to gaze into his deep shit brown eyes, It may have only been for a couple of minutes but it seemed like eternity. I made him some breakfast in bed than I played with his balls a little. I couldnt wait to try out all those new sex moves I learned from that new magazine. Late at night when he was back from work I popped open a bottle of champaighn and set up a glorious feast. That bastard tore through sushi like an asian lawn mower. Than I knew it was time for the big surprise, there was only a mouthful of champaighn left in the bottle, he made a quick reach for it when I stabbed him in the nipple with a fork! He shrieked in pain, but I whispered in his ear, " lets not get greedy ". I grabbed the champaighn bottle and some poprocks, than I poured the champaighn into my mouth and quickly unsipped his pants revieling a boner the size of my whole arm. I still had the champaighn in my mouth so I poured the pop rocks onto his dick and sucked away, He had the best orgasm ever I could tell by the look on his face, It was like a party in my mouth!