Emo is a music fashion dumbass movement which requires followers to apply heavy eye-liner, wear overly tight jeans, enjoy large cock (not that they ever get any), dye their hair black (don't forget to skip the shower) and grow a long fringe to help warp their vision of the world. This warped fringe vision causes the wearer to insult people who are fucking depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of moaning about how great it is to wear the above mentioned eye-liner / vision of the world warping fringe / black hair / tight jeans but how terrible it is that hawt emo girl X doesn't want to fuck you. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!". Conclusive scientific evidence suggests that emos are more hated than black people, Jews, pig fuckers and your mom combined. All emos, without exception, belong to the Emocrat Party. They all suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them. They all believe that their affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house house with their own television and computer in their room is the worst in the world. Emo is a "self-fulfilling prophecy". The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you. Emos have no ability to look at the world around them objectively, an ability probably hindered by their retarded hair. If they would, they'd realize that being middle class and white ain't so bad.


The common path to emo generally follows these steps:
  • 1. They have a happy cheerful carebear MySpace profile up until they're 12.
  • 2. One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo MySpace.
  • 3. 12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
  • 4. They straighten their disgusting hair wig that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup and take pictures.
  • 5. Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
  • 6. After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
  • 7. Become an hero.
  • 8. Repeat step 8

Uploaded 09/06/2008
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