A few days ago I was helping my senile neighbor get her car out of the snow and she stopped and told me that she noticed I havent had a boyfriend in a while. after getting the creepy and funny thought of her creeping up to my window at nite I told her that I cant seem to meet a great guy. It seems they all just want to fuck me.
To which she responded, " pretty thing like you should be having sex all the time . nasty dirty sex!" OMG I was floored. I am now convinced she does come up to my window at nite. So now I make sure to leave my blinds open and lights on while I change and do naked pilates.
Her comment made me thing of my best sex ever. I know you are not interested but I dont give a fuck and will tell u anyways . You pervert see I knew it you are still reading this.
So here it is: I was in London with a friend and we went to the circle district to partay our lil asses off. At a bar I met this gorgeous guy in his twenties. YEs he had the awesome english accent. yum. long story short we ended up in my hotel fucking in the bathroom. we broke the blinds busted the toilet and tore off the shower curtain. there was water leaking out of the faucets. this lasted for about 2 hours until the neighbor started pounding on the wall and yellin at us in a foreign language. so we moved on to the corridor. it was like 4 am and we were blasted so we didnt consider the fact that someone might see us. of course someone saw us. and it was an elderly couple who came of the escalator and started hitting the guy with an umbrella. Man it was a great nite!