I can't give relationships advice. My relationships are always intense for two years and then they fizzle. I think I just get bored. I stop appreciating. Also, I tend to enjoy being alone. I love it. I guess I'm a little rough around the edges and cold sometimes.
However, I used to believe that, in relationships, there was always a person holding on too tight and the other struggling for freedom. Over the years I've come to realize that's true only some of the time. But you're blogs brought that to mind.
All of my relationships have ended that way except the last two, the death of my son's mother and my divorce. In the case of my divorce I came to realize that I was always going to be stuck in my shitty job just living paycheck to paycheck if I didn't get rid of her. There are things I want to do with my life and it became appearant that I was stuck. So I ignored her and when she just about had enough I pretended to try to hold on so she would push back for freedom. Basically, I made her want to leave.
Manipulative? Yeah. I think it happens because, after some painful arguments and whatnot, the person pushing back for freedom might be doing it out of spite on some unconscious level, resisting anything person trying to hold on attempts to accomplish.