Forgotten Film Synopses: Disorderlies

Ah, the era of 80's rap, when it was all about funky beats and good times instead of gangsta violence, drugs, and prison... and who could forget the Fat Boys in all their old-school beat-boxing glory, especially when it came to their one shot at Hollywood film stardom in the surprisingly entertaining comedy Disorderlies?


It opens as Winslow Lowry, the stereotypical, unappreciative and money-hungry nephew of millionaire old fart Albert Dennison (Ralph Bellamy), is miserable at another one of his Uncle's charity event parties in the yard of his posh Palm Beach mansion. He attempts to cheat at a card game with the help of his assistant Miguel, but things go sour and we hear the first of many pathetic violin tunes, triggered by his misfortunes.

Afterwards, he gets a visit from Luis, a likewise stereotypical, Latin-American crime kingpin whose presence is accompanied by telltale Spanish strings and rattlesnake sound effects. Apparently, Lowry has a gambling addiction, only a few dollars in his account, and owes Luis $40,000 in debts.

He assures the quite impatient Luis that his Uncle is days away from death, and at that time, he's sure to inherit the cash, stocks, bonds, everything - which Luis expects in three weeks or else. To drive the point home that Albert will definitely be deceased in time, he shows Luis to Albert's wing, where he steps on the old man's oxygen tubes in a quick attempt to off him then and there, but those damn orderlies are too good! He needs some new, dumb-butt screw-ups to take their place, and now!

Conveniently, Lowry finds a front page news article on the worst nursing home in America, making an immediate visit with Miguel just in time to see our boys in an argument with the Kitchen Director on the dozen-plus missing cakes from the refrigerator.


Immediately, Lowry's hired them to work at the mansion for him, where we're treated to a bunch of Fat Boy antics on a crowded coach flight and ride back, including the sandwiching of some old bat, the crushing of an old man with a reclined seat, and one of them having to ride in the car's trunk.


Needless to say, most of the staff are completely bewildered at these massive minorities and how in the hell Lowry could fire Dennison's old staff in favor of them - and with good reason, seeing as how, at the next day's $1,000 a plate luncheon, the buffoons start swiping dishes, thinking them to be worth a grand a piece. Not to mention their dumping of Dennison right into the pool, of course.

Though Albert wants them gone immediately, Lowry couldn't be more pleased, and talks his Uncle into keeping them. Still, he makes another attempt at killing the old fart himself with a syringe that night, before realizing the boys have taken a ride out on the town, bringing  "Cool Al"  along with them.

They pick up a small group of chickies and take the indignant Albert along with them to a roller-skating rink, where a few minutes alone with the girls prompts the old man to loosen up. The place is kickin' and the crowd couldn't be more welcoming of a hip senior citizen having fun in a wheelchair - and even when an accident occurs and Albert falls out, he doesn't care at all, preferring to enjoy himself and his new friends, away from the monotony of his usual home-bound life.


Of course, sneaking back into the house doesn't work too well for Cool Al or the boys, who are met by Lowry, Miguel, and all the staff upon entry. Naturally, Lowry feigns anger and extreme concern over what happened, and after his precious pet rottweiler Chauncey gets done attacking the boys' pant legs again, Albert shocks everyone by telling Lowry to "chill out" and "step off, homeboy". This isn't looking good.

As Albert sleeps that night, Lowry again tries his hand at killing him with another syringe full of whatever. Too bad one of our boys decided to drop in, prompting Lowry to toss the needle out the window, right smack into the hide of his dear, beloved mutt.

We get another serenade of violins at his flub before a memorial service scene the next day in which Chauncey has been taxidermied, Lowry is a mess, and Albert and the boys just can't stop laughing.


Later on that night, the boys make the horrible mistake of using Albert's multitude of pills for use as chips in their card game. Trying to hide them all when the crotchety butler comes by, all the meds are mistakenly put through the garbage disposal by the maid, leaving the boys to make up a story on how the Doctor has called in, stating that Albert shouldn't be taking any pills until the next day.

Honestly worried sick over his well-being, they spend the entire night at his bedside, noting that he doesn't seem to be doing so good by noon the next day. Cue Lowry, who claims he had a "premonition this would happen", and makes no big deal of pulling out funeral cards and picking up the phone for an immediate call to a Chaplain, when suddenly...

Albert's awake, and the boys think he's either having a spasm or is some sort of zombie, until one of them attempts to perform mouth-to-mouth CPR and Albert throws him off, proceeding to beat the crap outta him, albeit playfully so.


Turns out the arriving Doctor finds that by losing his medication, the orderlies have stumbled upon the secret to his recovery - he had been grossly over-medicated, and now can get up and around, leave the wheelchair behind, even go out golfing with his new best buddies, which he does. Usual comedic antics ensue between the Fat Boys and several horses that would rather play dead than be sat on by them.

Thus begins an all-new active regimen for Cool Al, who takes to aerobics, swimming, stretches, and jogging with his favorite orderlies, with one of them making sure to get in some special work-out time with the hot maid, especially when she's on the treadmill and he can watch her boobies bounce as we hear some canned "boingy" sound effects.

But when Albert goes as far as accessing the safe to extract stacks of cash for he and the boys to use for shopping and fun, Lowry has had it. He informs Miguel that no matter what, Albert has to die, tonight!

He enters the study to make a call to Luis, assuring him he'll have all the money the next day. Lowry had taken out the big guns (literally), by hiring two hit men to meet Miguel in the back, in order to be let in to shoot Albert down in cold blood.

Two of the boys had gone out to spy on some skinny-dipping girls at a nearby pool, while the third was spending some quality time with the maid, checking out a music video they had recorded in a previous scene (one of those promo deals featuring a Fat Boys hit being lip-synced).

Even the poor old man was gettin' jiggy to the same song on his Walkman when the hit men entered the room, although once again, Lowry's plans would be thwarted. Two cops, responding to the peeping tom call, had chased the spying boys back to the mansion, where in the meantime, the hit men pop off a shot but miss, thanks to them suddenly seeing the police lights.


The boys, in turn, having heard the shot, run and hide while the hit men take off, and the cops bust in to find Albert, a bullet hole in the wall, and proceed to arrest the two boys. Searching through their suitcases, the cops uncover several expensive items and the gun in question, leading them to believe without a doubt they tried to off Albert.

Completely astounded, Albert and the maid are discussing the situation, when suddenly they hear Lowry's voice. Being joined by the last remaining Fat Boy, they enter the den, where they see a video-recorded clip of Lowry during his phone call to Luis - apparently, the boys had left the stereo equipment on after making their music video!

Unfortunately, the bumbling orderly trips with the tape, sending it flying right into the fireplace. It makes no difference, though, as Lowry, accompanied by Miguel, the hit men, and Luis himself, enter the room, and take the three hostage.

As they attempt to force Albert to give the pass code for the safe, the two arrested boys make use of wires they've somehow managed to hide on themselves, to manipulate the pedals and steering wheel of the police cruiser and drive off.

Now dressed as the cops, as they've somehow managed to fit into their uniforms, the boys return to the mansion, where Lowry and the others have decided to rig the safe room to explode. Using nothing more than their behemoth girth, the boys take down a few members of the gang, and stifle the spark trail leading to the explosives long enough to rescue Cool Al and the others, by cannon-balling into the pool!

As they take cover outside, the safe room goes up in flames, and Lowry cheers with Miguel and Luis, thinking they've just killed two birds with one stone. He plans to meet up with Luis and his guys back at a hotel, but not before requesting Luis shoots him in the ass to make it appear as though he tried to save his Uncle from his doom.

How close to a breakdown he is when he emerges from the hedge he fell into, grabbing his own ass and skipping around the driveway like a bitch, as Albert, the maid, and the boys come out and laugh uncontrollably at him. As Lowry looks on in shock, police sirens are heard, and Cool Al and the boys know everything's gonna work out O.K.

The film ends with one of those mini-narratives on what became of all the major players, including Luis and Lowry getting 7 years in prison, the Fat Boys being sent through college to become Doctors and Therapists, with Albert seeing them on a regular basis, going on Safari every year - after marrying the chick from the skating rink and having 4 kids!


film (c) 1987 WarnerBros.
Uploaded 08/20/2011
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