Foul Ball Scrooge

I'm going to look like a bitch on TV if I ever get the chance to catch a foul ball, because Murphy's Law dictates that whenever a out of play sizzler comes my way, I'll be seated in the general vicinity of a child; A child who I will be unwilling to cede this prize that I've waited for 18+ years of baseball fandom to receive.

Here's the thing; I would be the first person to buy that kid a new ice cream if he dropped his on the ground, but a foul ball? Sorry, little guy.  I go to at least ten games a year, and most of the kids I see at the park have no idea where they are, and couldn't care less.  Children cry all the time when they don't get something.  I remember being at a magic show when I was little, and the magician made a rabbit appear in the lap of a "random" audience member.  The place was filled with rugrats bawling their eyes out, because they didn't get the bunny.  You'll see the same thing in a grocery store every time a kid throws a tantrum, because their mom wouldn't buy them the sugary crack they wanted.

I don't know...Maybe I'd have a change of heart if I were actually in the situation, but as far as I can see, there's only two ways I'd be willing to cough it up.

1.  If a player tossed it into the stands, and it was obviously meant for the kid.

2.  If it was evident the kid was a true fan, and not crying just because he didn't get something.  It's usually easy to tell.  Those kinds of kids are savants and will spend the game quoting stats to anyone that will listen.

Yeah, that couple didn't have to sit there posing for pictures in front of him, but all in all, I think the announcer was being a judgmental dick. 
Uploaded 04/26/2012
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Tags: what would you