Free lunch....wait...what?

This happened about 5 years ago, give or take....(100% true story)


After spending the better part of the morning at dispatch trying to land a shift for the day and not doing so, I called my (then) wife to let her know I wasn't working and asked if there were any errands I should run on my way home. She reminded me that I needed to fill a prescription for myself and asked me to get a few things while waiting for the pharmacy to fill it. Sounds like an uneventful afternoon right? Not so much....


While waiting in line at Walgreen's the guy behind me says "How's it going man?"

Me..."Good, and you?"


(He looked "normal" enough. Roughly my age, dressed in "regular guy" type work clothes)

Dude..."So, you're not working today?"

(So, now I think he must recognize me from the docks and that I don't recognize him. There are over 1,000 of us working the port)

Me..."Not today bro, couldn't make a dispatch this morning. No luck for you either?"

Dude..."I don't know what you're talking about, but, to answer your question...I have today off."

Me..."Oh, ok." (Confuseded!)

Dude..."So...what are you doing today?"

Me..."Running errands." (Getting uncomfortable now)

Dude..."Umm, so if your not busy man, you wanna grab some lunch?"

Me..."You don't work the port?"

Dude..."No, why?"

Me..."If you don't work with me do you know me from somewhere else man? If you do I apologize because I don't recognize you."

Dude..."No I don't know you from anywhere."

Me..."Umm, if you don't know me why are you asking if I want to have lunch with you?" (Beyond confuseded now)

Dude..."Oh, umm, well, I, you see, umm, how do I say this? ((Long pause)) I don't mean to offend you or anything man but ((Long pause)) I'm gay and I was wondering if you might like to have lunch with me."


Dude...(taking a step backward and raising his hands up a bit) "I'm really sorry bro I didn't mean to offend you or anything. Are we cool?"

Me..."NO!!!" (Now angry because dude thought I was gay)

Dude...(Backing up further) "I'm soooo sorry man, I don't want trouble or anything so I'm just going to leave now ok?"

Me..."OK!!!" (Not realizing yet that everyone in line was watching this happen)


I fill my prescription and grab milk, bread and eggs and head home. I tell my wife, word for word what happened. She says nothing and just smiles.

Me..."What's funny about this?"

Her..."If I were you I would have at least got a free lunch out of it."


I did not find this humorous for quite a few years :)


Straight Deunan



Uploaded 02/27/2011
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