We rolled into the parking lot of the Mint Hotel and Casino when the drugs kicked in.  The beast was out cold with an open bottle of Early Times between his legs.  I grabbed the bottle and swallowed the last five shots.  I threw the bottle over my left shoulder, nearly hitting the little valet boy racing up to park the red shark.  I played it cool and said, "Oh Jesus Christ man!  Never sneak up behind me like that.  I'm a trained assassin.  I couldve snapped your neck."  The boy was so stunned by my rant he completely forgot about the errant whiskey bottle.  I told him I would need a bell boy and a luggage cart for my things.  The boy asked, "Is your friend ok?"  I replied, "Who him?  Christ man he's fine.  He's in deep meditation.  You've heard of monks, right?  Well this man is in the highest order of monks.  He's probably closer to God right now than you or I will ever be.  We mustn't disturb him.  He could come out of this trance and crucify half the city.  Now go get that cart!"  The valet hurried off.  I got out and went into the lobby to secure our room.

 The lobby was quiet which was good to see.  I walked up to the desk.  A young lady was there to complete my mission.  She said with a look of worry, "Welcome to the Mint.  Can I help you sir?"  I said, "Yes my dear.  As you can see from my appearance, I have been through a myriad of tragedies to arrive at this destination.  I just need to get in your finest suite as soon as possible."  She punched a few keys on her keyboard and stared at her monitor.  I tried to remain normal as a family in swimming gear walked past.  They stared at me like I was an attraction at the zoo.  Finally, the desk lady spoke, "I'm sorry sir.  We are out of suites tonight.  Would you like a normal room?"  I angrily said, "No!  No!  A normal room will not suffice for my partner and me.  We need a suite.  We may be entertaining a large party from Russia tonight.  My partner and I are big gamblers you see and the Russian whales will be joining us later.  I'm sure your manager will be thoroughly pleased once he finds out you've booked us for the night."  She perked up and said, "Oh youre high rollers?  You and your partner that is?  Are you on our list?"  I said, I'm sure we should be.  However, I don't think my partner and I have been at this casino before.  Therefore, we have not made your list.  I assure you we will be gambling heavy and recklessly.  Imagine your manager's face when he finds out it was you that so wisely landed two whales like us."  I could see her eyes whirling.  She poked at the keyboard some more.  She said, "OK, I was able to find a suite that is unoccupied but it is only available for tonight.  Is that OK?"  I responded with great speed,"Yes!  Yes!  That is fine.  We have a Boy Scout function back in Barstow tomorrow.  One night is fine.  Just book it my dear."  The coke was making me very anxious now.  I needed more of something and I needed it now.  I snapped, "Please have the bar send up several quarts of whiskey.  The house brand is fine.  Just make sure it is there when we arrive."  She sheepishly said, "I will need a credit card, sir."  I glared like a wounded tiger, "Yes of course.  Here's one, my dear."  I prayed that one had some credit left on it.  Apparently it did.  We were in.

I went back out to the parking lot.  The valet and bus boy had the luggage loaded.  They were unsure about the rest.  I strolled over to the shark and said, "So how are we doing here boys?"  I handed them both a couple of bucks.  The bus boy said softly, "Do you want all the beer to go up with you?"  I snapped, "Of course my boy.  We need all this beer for the Russians.  They love our American beer you know.  You both should come by the party later.  It promises to be lots of fun.  I can trust you guys, right?"  They looked at each other and nodded back at me.  I said, "We have a secret meeting with the Russians tonight.  There will be lots of drugs and lots of girls.  You're OK with my partner and me.  We are specially trained for such an event.  Not a word though.  It must remain a secret.  Otherwise, our mission could be in great jeopardy.  The boys looked nervous."  The bus boy said, "Uh, I have to work most of the night."  I said, "Good boy.  Work hard.  Don't get involved in such matters and you'll live a long time."  I slapped his back harder than is socially acceptable and laughed like a hyena.  They both backed away.  I said, "OK lets get this beast of a monk onto the cart.  He must not be disturbed."  I opened the door and the bastard fell flat on to the concrete smacking his nose again.  He wailed and the blood flowed.  The valet and the bell boy ran off fearing the beast was going to wake up swinging.  I coaxed him on the cart with a promise of more whiskey.  I pushed the cart full of beer, the beast, and the luggage through the parking lot.  A trail of the beast's blood was left behind as he hung his head while we rolled.  The evening was starting to take shape ...