i get off work at 6am every morning and am in bed by 8am. im usually a pretty happy go lucky guy, but after over a month working nights, i go off the deep end. for the past week i have litterally felt my sanity unraveling. that little man deep in my brain that hates without reason, without cause, has been gaining control. i wake up at 2pm or 3pm or, like today 4pm, and am instantly pissed the fuck off. that little hate man is riding my tounge, scraching at the back of my teeth trying to get out so i can spew for untold hatred and obsenities at random people walking by. have you ever wanted to drop you pants in public, shit into your hand, and run around wiping it on strangers mouths? i have. i have actually been so close as to have, without realizing it, have my pants undone halfway. for example: im at QT and im buying my energy drink and another drink before i go to work. in front of me is this kid. hes got blond hair, a lip ring, and is dressed middle classy. total rebel, yet looks like everyone else, you know the type. hes buying cigs, of course. the cashier asks for his ID. hes starts givin  the guy shit right off the bat."you really wanna see it? dont i look old enough?" hes taking up my time now, the little hate man is dancing gleefully now. i hate this kid. he produces said ID and is still yammering about it when his friend comes up. "Dude carded me! im fuckin 21 man" ok, my eye is twitching. i can barely hold back the urge to choke the fuck outta this cock smoker. the little hate man is going nuts in my head. ever see gremlins? nuff said. the kid finally leaves, bitching and moaning about how hes 21 and blah blah blah im a fucktard or something. i want to seriously go on a shooting spree. not kidding. i was a good shot in the army. consistantly got 39 out of a possible 40 at the range. would that solve anything: no(maybe). would it make me feel better: yes. i need to shoot a gun again, jerking off isnt working anymore. i was thinking about doing tae kwan do again like when i was younger, that always helped these feelings go away cuz i got to have people hit me and i got to hit other people. just might do that. maybe even get my kids involved too. or i could start using drugs. whatever.

Uploaded 11/28/2008
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