How Stupid Am I...Let Me Count The Ways

I would imagine a select few of you would like to answer this question for me. In due time, my friends! Please refrain from the Canadian bashing until after the blog is done. (Ahem.....Sparks.....ahem)


Anyway, I went to work this morning early....motherfucking early. I was up at about four to make it there for five. (Stupid over-lap shifts.) Anyway, I woke up a little later than wanted, and had to rush about getting ready to make it there on time. I managed to whip myself together in under ten minutes (shower included!) and headed off for a fun filled day of dealing with the public and other such douchebaggery. In my whirlwind jaunt of getting ready, I happened to leave my wallet on the night stand. Pisser-doo.


Anyway, aside from the potential for catching severe shit from the boss-man for such an indiscretion (ID, swipe-cards, all that lovely shit were there) I depended upon my bank card to get me lunch that afternoon. Luckily, I had a ten dollar bill (in all its fruity Canadian colour) in my jacket pocket. What luck!


Anyway, the day was going horrible for me. Lots of calls, lots of asswipes. At around ten I decided that I needed a little smoke break, and realized that I must have also forgoten to bring my reserve pack of smokes with me. I only had two left from the pack in my coat! I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but when you generally smoke fifteen to twenty cigs a day, it is the end of the world.  Rationing them didn't work so well: both were gone within the hour.


Now I was faced with a dilema: smoke or eat. I had enough on me for one or the other, but not both. I chose the cigarettes over the food.


It seemed like a great idea at the time, but as a result of my dirty little habit (the smoking, not the autoerotic asphyxiation) I felt like I was going to dry-vomit bile all afternoon. By the time my shift ended, my stomach hurt quite a bit. It happened to be a semi-physical day, and the entire time I thought I was going to collapse from exhaustion and hunger. This can prove to be a very dangerous occurance in my job, one that we are constantly harped on to avoid. As soon as the day was done, I booked it home and hit the cupboard for anything edible I could get my smoky little mitts on.


It really opened my eyes as to how bad my addiction is. I forewent food for smoking, and felt horrible as a result. The feeling of running out of cigarettes actually panicked me a sad is that? I'm thinking it may be time to quit. (Ironically, I'm smoking right now as I type this word-piss for you.) Anyone out there ever quit smoking successfully, or am I doomed to pass up lunch for smokes for the rest of my life?? I'm sure that half of you are fellow smokers; any stories of stupidity to share involving smoking?


Okay Sparks, you may have at the nationality now. :)


Thanks for reading,

-The Big Bad 

Uploaded 01/29/2009
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