How about we take a break from the bickering and enjoy a nice tasty cheap treat?
First, you'll need a pack of Ramen. Creamy chicken works great, but that's disappeared recently, at least locally for me. Also some eggs, and anything you might like to put in an omelette, because well... this is kinda that.
So take the little flavor packet and empty it into a bowl. take, oh... maybe a 1/2 cup of milk (I guess-splash) into the bowl and mix this up. It'll look funky, but you're far from done.
Next, take 2-3 eggs and toss them in the bowl. Be sure to remove the shells from the eggs (RED I'M LOOKING AT YOU LOL) and scramble them up good.
Now, you need to boil a little water for the noodles. Just get that going once the eggs are ready. Breaking the pack into fourths, but not more, is best.
Meanwhile, over a medium heat, be heating a frying pan on your stove, and a little oil in the pan. If you like onions and bell peppers, or spinach, I recommend adding a little extra oil to deep-fry them, so to speak. Mushrooms, or anything semi-sturdy of the sort should go in a little later (fresh mushrooms can go in immediately).
Add cheese, tomatoes (if you choose) and anything else into the eggs, and mix this up as well.
Once the frying is done, your noodles should be finished. Drain them well and throw them into the frying pan. This will both soak up any excess oil and dry the noodles nicely. Stir the ingredients in, letting the noodles brown (it happens fast!) if you can.
Now, pour your egg mix over the noodles, and stir constantly. This makes the eggs fluffier--as does the milk-- and more flavorful. If necessary, let sit over heat for a minute to kickstart the cooking, but try to mix it up more.
The amount of time it takes to cook the eggs should be all it takes to melt the cheese and warm tomatoes, etc. and make for a yummy yummy treat.
A couple notes: don't add any salt or pepper, at least your first shot, because the Ramen is salty already and the flavor pack gives it a nice kick.
Be sure if you add meat (not easy to do, actually) that you use a complimentary flavoring (Beef/beef, etc.)
Keep it simple your first time and experiment from there. Good advice for any kind of cooking.
Bon apetit, and rock the casbah!