How to take an emo picture

After scanning the site and seeing all these shitheads with THEMSELVES as their avatar, I've finally come to the conclusion that 99% of the time, it's an emo picture and 100% of emo pictures are the same. I'm not kidding about this. Look at the self-picture avatar to see what I mean.

1. Always be looking UP at the camera.

It's almost like the blowjob pose, when the girl is looking up at you. I think they want to look up because it makes their eyes bigger somehow...maybe they have severe lazy eye and that is the only way they can have a normal picture. It looks stupid considering that no normal picture will ever be taken from that angle. Furthermore, all emo pictures look alike because of this. There are 5 girls just in the blog section whose pictures look EXACTLY alike. But that's all emos are- conformistists.


2. Always have to show a little skin.

Looking up at the camera gives everyone a little glimpse right down your shirt. So from the very first look at you, men are thinking that you're easy...and you probably are because you have low self esteem, your father wasn't there when you were younger and now you strive for that male affection by having sex with every man that offers attention.


3. Make sure you're wearing black (or an equally dark color).

What's cooler than looking like you're forever in mourning? Why don't you go ahead and rip your clothes and rub black ashes under your eyes? Oh wait, that's eye liner. What's even worse is that it STANDS OUT among the whole picture. Make-up is supposed to enhance beauty, not make up for what you don't have. Just because you apply more make-up doesn't mean we still can see all those zits under the inch of foundation. Gross.


So there you have it. 3 simple ways to make yourself seem like a slut online...err...make an emo avatar. Next, my guide on how to cut yourself like an emo.

Uploaded 09/24/2008
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Tags: emo avatar