My cousin is getting married.  My family is making a big deal about it because she's the first in this generation to do it.    Personally... I don't want to go.   I hardly know my cousin... I only ever see my extended family on Christmas Eve.   I told my mom that I don't really want to go. 

"There's some things you have to do when it comes to family."
"Mom, I haven't even spoken to her to congratulate her yet, and she's been engaged for like a year and a half"
"You don't have to go to the reception... but you should come to this (Alice in Wonderland Themed) bridal shower, and the ceremony."
"I didn't go to the engagement party, or stag and doe, why would I go to a bachelorette party? I know for a fact that she couldn't care less if I didn't make it.... and neither would what's his face... what was her fiance's name again?"
"It's not a bachelorette party, it's a shower."
"Whatever, I don't know anything about that shit." (I don't... I've never gone to a wedding.)
"It's supposed to be at a beautiful venue,  I guess they're going all out....  They've been saving up for 3 years....  Aunt (aunt's name) says her dress is gorgeous..."


Does this mean I don't care about my family?  No.  I do.   If any one of them needed my help, I would do my best to help them.  If my cousin thinks this is that big day in her life, enough to spend a large amount of time and money celebrating it,  good for her.  I mean it.  I'm happy for her and whatever his name is.  The three times I saw them together, they seemed very happy together.  Weddings are just not my thing.


My boyfriend is also being harassed by his family over marital bliss.   His older brother might also be getting married, later this summer.  I say "might" because this is his forth or fifth time being engaged to be married to someone.  They live in England, but are coming to California to get married.   Thing is, my bf can't cross the border because he has a criminal record.  About 10 or so years ago this older brother of his charged him with assault.  Now he wants us to pay for a rush-order pardon, passports, and plane tickets to see him get married to someone we've never met.   We're obviously not going. 


My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage.  We're both pretty much on the same page about what we do and don't want to do, and even what we think our families are going to say about it.
We're already common-law for tax purposes, but if we see a legal benefit in getting hitched, we'll probably go and get eloped.  We even joked about getting one of our family members to give us a ride to city hall.  If we were to celebrate it we would probably have a small get together with a few family members and friends at some camping destination, not too far away. Nothing remotely formal. Neither one of us like that kind of setting... it's our day after all.. we should be able to enjoy it, no?  We both agree that would be a good way for our families to meet each other.  I think that's important, especially if we go on to have kids some day.

We for sure are not hiring the Priest or Photographer.  The dinner might even be pot-luck... I fucking love pot-luck.  It would be really stupid of me to wear an expensive white dress and heels to a camping site.  I can picture myself on a dock yelling "Sexy man! Can you help me get this fish hook out of my vale?". 

Call it whatever you want.  Really, that's one of the things I hate about weddings.  Everyone is always so judgmental.  Ask too many questions.  I'm not really one to try and impress people, or even entertain.  I don't like to be the center of attention.   Not enough to spend months and thousands of dollars trying to do so, anyways.    I was also never the girl who dreamed about her wedding all her life.   I always found church to be very boring, even though I've only gone a handful of times.  I was a bit of a tomboy as well.  While my friends played with their Barbies, I played with my collection of dinky cars.  I liked to play in the dirt, and run around with sticks that could of easily poked anyone's eye out.    I wasn't a tea-party, princess who got into mommy's make up and jewelry... instead I was in my dad's tool shed hitting shit with hammers.

Traditional Weddings are not everyone's idea of  "the best day of one's life".    It depends on who you are, and what you're into.