I am from the future, listen to me!
andrewryan69
Published
07/26/2011
Many of you have probably been questioning where I have been due to my lack of blog activity - although this might sound insane, I have time travelled to the future and back to present day, where I was told to relay an important message regarding the future of the blog section and the website in general.
This message is a WARNING to the eBaum blog community - if we do not cease our daily verbal spats, mostly revolving around Neko and her army of alternate accounts, a great war shall commence and in the nearby future, the blog section and the website as a whole will be no more ... similar to the aftermath displayed by a nuclear winter. This is how things will transpire if we do not STOP fighting:
October 21, 2011 - PepperPeanut is banned by an unknown entity. eBaum's World falls under complete chaos as eBones are looted from the eBaum's World bank. Since eBones are now plentiful, their value is worthless so the entire eConomy collapses. MacDreidel attempts to restore order ...
October 24, 2011 - ... but MacDreidel follows PepperPeanut in being banned from the website. eBaumers envelop themselves in an aura of paranoia - many blame Anonymous, 4chan, or essentially every other website that completely loathes eBaum's World.
November 14, 2011 - The dispersed and unorganized tribes of eBaum's World (the remnants of the website) are greeted with a message by the unknown entity. War was beginning and somebody has apparently set eBaum's up with a bomb. The main page turns on and the unknown entity reveals itself as being Neko, followed by a plethora of Neko alts.
Neko assumes total control but grants leniency to the poor desperate tribes of eNeko's World (renamed due to the shift in power) - the leniency, however, depends on a sacrifice of somebody's account. The more quality the account, the higher the leniency.
November 24, 2011 - The tribes have decided to sacrifice Gyps and since Gyps epitomizes complete utter shit, the sacrifice angers Neko and wages war against the sporadic and unequipped tribes.
December 25, 2011 - Christmas day but despite the jolliness that Christmas brings, many accounts are banned. General Rin and General tomlin, the supposed leaders of the Operation War on Neko, have slowly but surely realized the fate of their community: they are too overmatched by Neko and her multiple accounts. Due to this realization, both Rin and tomlin surrender to Neko and accept their new positions as being her Neko Punched minions.
January 1, 2012 - The remaining persons accept defeat and the Treaty of Neko is signed - a new currency is established (nEkos), all new content must glorify Neko the Great (whether picture or video), and Neko gains complete control of the blog section - every single blog must bask Neko in nothing but attention or else the person responsible for speaking against Neko will be forced to drink Neko's punch.
Exhibit A: Neko's punch.
April 1, 2012 - Neko's current minions manage to establish a revolt against Neko's nefarious demands and whatnot. The minions take control of the alternative accounts and use them against Neko - Neko is eventually pushed back to the blog section while the rest of the website has fallen under barbaric minion control.
July 26, 2012 - Neko commits eSuicide by banning herself from eBaum's World - while on the verge of banning herself, however, Neko presses the "Asian Language" button and sends the entire website into a lockdown and eventually a self destruction. The minions attempt to flee the website but the lockdown has disabled their computers' ability in "x-ing" out of the website and even shutting down themselves.
July 27, 2012 - The entire website of eBaum's World no longer exists - blogs, videos, pictures, and content in general have been eradicated by the "Asian Language" self destruction. Neko is never heard of again.
... so guys, the choice is yours: persist fighting and eventually lead this website to its very own annihilation or make truce with Neko and just accept her for what she is.
This message is a WARNING to the eBaum blog community - if we do not cease our daily verbal spats, mostly revolving around Neko and her army of alternate accounts, a great war shall commence and in the nearby future, the blog section and the website as a whole will be no more ... similar to the aftermath displayed by a nuclear winter. This is how things will transpire if we do not STOP fighting:
October 21, 2011 - PepperPeanut is banned by an unknown entity. eBaum's World falls under complete chaos as eBones are looted from the eBaum's World bank. Since eBones are now plentiful, their value is worthless so the entire eConomy collapses. MacDreidel attempts to restore order ...
October 24, 2011 - ... but MacDreidel follows PepperPeanut in being banned from the website. eBaumers envelop themselves in an aura of paranoia - many blame Anonymous, 4chan, or essentially every other website that completely loathes eBaum's World.
November 14, 2011 - The dispersed and unorganized tribes of eBaum's World (the remnants of the website) are greeted with a message by the unknown entity. War was beginning and somebody has apparently set eBaum's up with a bomb. The main page turns on and the unknown entity reveals itself as being Neko, followed by a plethora of Neko alts.
Neko assumes total control but grants leniency to the poor desperate tribes of eNeko's World (renamed due to the shift in power) - the leniency, however, depends on a sacrifice of somebody's account. The more quality the account, the higher the leniency.
November 24, 2011 - The tribes have decided to sacrifice Gyps and since Gyps epitomizes complete utter shit, the sacrifice angers Neko and wages war against the sporadic and unequipped tribes.
December 25, 2011 - Christmas day but despite the jolliness that Christmas brings, many accounts are banned. General Rin and General tomlin, the supposed leaders of the Operation War on Neko, have slowly but surely realized the fate of their community: they are too overmatched by Neko and her multiple accounts. Due to this realization, both Rin and tomlin surrender to Neko and accept their new positions as being her Neko Punched minions.
January 1, 2012 - The remaining persons accept defeat and the Treaty of Neko is signed - a new currency is established (nEkos), all new content must glorify Neko the Great (whether picture or video), and Neko gains complete control of the blog section - every single blog must bask Neko in nothing but attention or else the person responsible for speaking against Neko will be forced to drink Neko's punch.
Exhibit A: Neko's punch. April 1, 2012 - Neko's current minions manage to establish a revolt against Neko's nefarious demands and whatnot. The minions take control of the alternative accounts and use them against Neko - Neko is eventually pushed back to the blog section while the rest of the website has fallen under barbaric minion control.
July 26, 2012 - Neko commits eSuicide by banning herself from eBaum's World - while on the verge of banning herself, however, Neko presses the "Asian Language" button and sends the entire website into a lockdown and eventually a self destruction. The minions attempt to flee the website but the lockdown has disabled their computers' ability in "x-ing" out of the website and even shutting down themselves.
July 27, 2012 - The entire website of eBaum's World no longer exists - blogs, videos, pictures, and content in general have been eradicated by the "Asian Language" self destruction. Neko is never heard of again.
... so guys, the choice is yours: persist fighting and eventually lead this website to its very own annihilation or make truce with Neko and just accept her for what she is.
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