I Don't Understand

Toast...vanilla...kissing.. I don't understand why things sound better if we put the word, 'French' before them. French toast, French vanilla, French kissing.

I cant imagine craving 'El Salvidorian Toast' or 'Polish Vanilla.' Even though it's close I don't want to 'Canadian Kiss' a girl.

I don't understand why some people pile the rear window of their cars full of stuffed animals. Condensation and the bleaching of the sun make them look like a faded, rotting, graveyard for Tiggers and Snoopy's. Snoopies? (Spellcheck, please.)

I don't understand why a carelessly tossed cigarette butt will start a wild fire yet I can't get a beachfire going with a newspaper, a can of gasoline, a butane lighter and a 35 m.p.h. surf breeze.

I also do not get arguing online. I have to admit that when someone rates me down or challanges me in a blog or in the comment section I get pissed. I don't get it. Why? Why do a bunch of anonymous, random motherfuckers make me want to go on the offensive?

I believe it's because the Interweb is a microcosm of scociety and we revert to a clan mentality on social networks. It is scociety concentrate. Civilization crack. All of our interactions and experience in the outside world cooked up in the spoon of our computers and injected into our veins like a tribal junk.

I don't understand why bloggers like the Poop Guy and Nepolean Chocolate White Dynamite are ball busted. I like Poop Guy. I don't care if he's trolling or just a dude who makes obviously over-the-top statements because he's putting himself out there with the plausible deniability of 'acting' over the top so as not to feel bad if his blogs are ridiculed.

White Chocolate is a kid and is just saying what is on his mind. I was a kid and I understand. Please write, White Chocolate. If you write lame shit you will catch shit. So what? This is the internet and no one is who we portray ourselves to be. Keep writing.

The blog section is a democracy and the expression of ideas is the ultimate definition of what we, as civilized humans, should be. I welcomed AWsmith and Eshell when they started writing and I believe the blog section got better because of them.

I have an alternate screen namethat  I sometimes use on here to spy and troll. I've written a couple blogs under that profile. They are just as witty and thoughtful as my 'ugdork' blogs yet they always receive fewer stars. I guess I know how Richard Bachman feels. I don't want this sight to become a niche gathering of popular people. I hope it is an open forum for the expression of ideas.

French poop. It sounds nice. Poop poop poop poop poop poop. Poop.

Uploaded 05/11/2009
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