I need to lose 10 lbs!

I hate that phrase.  "I NEED to lose ten pounds!"  "I NEED to lose five pounds!"  Why do I hate it?  Because it always seems to come from girls/women who don't NEED to lose any weight at all.  It always comes from girls who are already thin.  It's just whining in order to get someone to tell them "Oh, but you're so skinny already!"  It's all about vanity.


The only time a woman should ever say "I need to lose weight" are the ones who are overweight.  And usually, then it's not "ten pounds" it's usually around fifty pounds.  And when they say it, it's because medically, they need to lose weight for their own health, not due to vanity.


Weight loss is usually about vanity when it comes to females between 16 and 30.  There is no NEED about it.  It's another one of those things that society has deemed as beauty for our culture.  I personally find it sickening to see a 5'10" woman that weighs 120 lbs.   It's unhealthy.  I spent my entire teen years being way underweight (under 100 lbs at 5'4"), and I was not healthy at all.  I hated that you could see my ribs and that my collar bones were so prominent.  I did not have an eating disorder.  I ate constantly, and just couldn't put on weight.  I was tested multiple times for different diseases (like diabetes), and we came to the conclusion that I just had a very high metabolism.  I almost wasn't able to get into the Navy because I was so light.  I had a very hard time gaining weight, no matter what I did.


Now, a few years later, I have to keep a close eye on my weight.  My thyroid (the organ that controls your metabolism) decided to stop working like it should when I had my daughter.  This is a pretty common thing, I found out, but I didn't know my thyroid wasn't working as it should until about 8 months after my daughter was born.  I started to gain weight.  I was far more tired than usual.  I couldn't understand it.  I was eating well, I was exercising daily...  I finally went into the doctor and found out that I had hypothyroidism. 


Since then, I've been almost obsessive over my weight.  I'm not overweight at all.  I'm within a healthy weight range for my height, and a healthy body fat percentage.  But I know that if I don't pay attention to it, if I don't keep my diet healthy, I could balloon up. 


Right now, I'm almost at the weight I was when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter (I'm at about 135 lbs).  This sounds really bad, but I was underweight by a few pounds when I got pregnant, so I didn't actually gain more than 18 lbs.  Now, I've lost 3 lbs in the past month, so I'm feeling optimistic about it.  The weight distributed itself pretty evenly- thighs, butt, tummy, boobs... 


I want to lose about 10lbs.  WANT, not NEED.  I know I don't need to lose anything, and this is all merely for my own personal pride.  I WANT my tight stomach back.  I WANT to have a tight butt.  I WANT to have slimmer thighs.  I don't NEED them. 


Way too many people get the misconception that you can bounce back from having a baby very easily.  Celebrities in bikinis 6 months after giving birth create that illusion.  But REAL people, NORMAL people don't have the money to spend on liposuction on the tummy, butt and thighs, the money for a tummy tuck to get rid of the loose skin from the stomach stretching, or for the lazer resurfacing of skin to get rid of stretch marks.  Normal people don't have personal trainers to help them either.  I am a normal person, so this process takes a lot more effort on my part. 


So, while I don't NEED to lose weight, I WANT to for my own satisfaction.  I want something close to my old body back, but not as thin.  I want to look and feel HEALTHY.  I don't want to feel self conscious if I wear lingerie for my husband, because I do feel self conscious about my body not being the same as it was when we got married despite how often he tells me I'm beautiful and tries to jump my bones.  It's going to be hard, but I'm getting the motivation to do it finally.  It's not exactly for my health, but I know it will make me healthier- when does exercising and proper diet NOT equal better health?  I hate to admit it, but my own self image does get the best of me.

Uploaded 07/06/2008
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