I want it all back!

I know half of you and everyone here used to think WOW i cant wait to get out of school. I know how that feeling is and how bad you want to get outta school. how boring and long and crappy it was. i hated school i always goofed off and screwed around. all my friends knew me as the school clown. although i was very smart and aced all my classes with a's i still was just myself most of the time. i slept in class, i farted in class to make ppl laugh yeah im a regular guy ya know.

I have only been outta high school for about 3-4 months not even 18 yet.....but i will be in like 16 days.

Im laying here in my bed right now, and im not gonna lie....idc to tell the fucking crying about my life.....i want my old life back. Back in my hometown of Pikeville TN is where i want to be. back in 9th grade just starting high school with my best friend EVER....idc how gay it sounds or makes me seem i love my friend like my brother. he will always be there for me and i will be for him. his names Anthony.

we met back in like 7th grade and was friends ya know but we never got like really close brothers till like 9th grade....we fucked around in school hang out everywhere. most people thought we were gay cuz we hang so much. in fact im 100% straight. but anthony knows every single thing about me. even shit i hide from my parents, and most my other friends.

i want my time back.....i miss school lunch with my friends and hanging out in the halls. i never believed my mom or anyone when they told me id miss school, or my hometown. well i was wrong and they were right. i miss it so bad i cant stand it. i jsut wanna be back there getting my heart broken by stupid school girls ya know? just there with everyone living it like we used to. i dont know how to explain this feeling i have its just killing me. i cant stop crying over my life.

i dont care if you call me a pussy or a bitch or wtf ever you want to. a fagget whatever you want i just dont care what any of you think about me if its bad.

i just want to make this shit go away....i feel like dieng honestly i just dunno wtf to do. it doesnt help that i have severe insomnia. so im up all night every night.

if ANYONE knows how to make this feeling livable please tell me. i cant stand feeling like this.....if anyone else has been like this what did you do??? i dont care baout poeple saying " go fuck a bitch" or
go get drunk" "smoke a blunt" screw that shit....i dont smoke and im not going to fuck some random girl or any girl i know right now. thats not gonna help. gettin drunk when im sad is a very bad thing it makes it worse and besides alcohol isnt the way neways.

i turn to you fellow EBW bloggers, my friends! help me do something im going crazy. please help me out...

your greatest avatar Phuck_eBaum........and coolest friend, Turk

Uploaded 08/02/2008
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