Im a bush man.

   Some people think that their job sucks and they hate having to take the bus everywhere, that as far as ghetto goes your the alpha bum and your title is immovable, but I must say there really is always someone hating life more than you, and for better reasons, too.   The past couple of months I'v been living on the street, flying a sign to eat and sleeping behind a bush in the park.   Not to sound like a whiner, I'm just sharing this informtion to elaborate how much I took for granted in contrast to the kinds of people I'v been in contact with recently.   There is one man in particular that comes to mind that I see at the park I was sleeping in, every day, who does nothing but bums change and smokes cigarettes all day long, and this man will represent the darker end of hoboness, whatever his story, he is resigned to a less than savory future.   And then there is an older woman that I see walking around town on occasion, only rarely because she is constantly on the move, actively striving to do something productive, every time I see her.   She, in my biased, self indulgent mind, represents the lighter side of the homeless spectrum,  what I think all people who struggle should be like; optomistic, self-reliant, kind, with a deep seated need to be freed from the oppression of poverty.   This woman may or may not be what I believe, it doesnt matter, I only bring her up so you may see the contrast of a man who does nothing and maintains a lowly status, and a woman with true hustle, who refuses to lay down and let the world punk her into being a pity-sponge.   In the darker times of these past weeks I have caught myself wallowing in self pity, feeling undeserving of this situation I'm in, wondering why I should try if all I ever do is fail, but I have faith, and enough wisdom to know that the old enemy is at work on me when those things start sounding like truth to my own ears.   We are all responsible for our own asses, we are all responsible for our own actions, and most importantly we are all responsible for what direction we choose to face our lives in.   You are not allowed pity, you take it, and self indulgenge of that nature makes you weak and keeps you doing that which complicates your life.   Surrender and let God take over, and somehow there might be hope, but never expect blessings, because grace is given according to the will of he who gives it, not for works or for accomplishments but because it was simply your turn for a break.   I wish you all well, and just, you know, be happy.

   Jesus loves you.   :)  

Uploaded 08/19/2011
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