Lover Forever Lost

Love is a bitch.  It grips you like a vice and drags you to the deepest deapths of an ocean of misery like the heaviest of anchors.

Just when you finally start to believe you've cleansed yourself of the plague that is love, something triggers it to come back... full force.

Lake a Pavlovian response, it swells from nowhere and knocks you off of your ass.  All those feelings of pain, loss, and detachment from the entity that made you feel complete in a former life, comes rushing back to paralyze you once again.

And you were naive enough to think you could be so lucky as to escape it....

Silly human... obsession, or love (is there a difference?) never dies.

The bell that caused my dog to slobber?  This song...

The night we met we knew we were going to end up together.  The sexual tension loomed over us benevolently, like the hand of god himself, in the back room of a smoky bar.

Both of our minds in sync with one another.  The futility of everything, the emptiness of the night and the fable that was the promise of better things to come.

We understood each other immediately and lived only for the moment.  Which is why after a long prelude of drugs in alcohol we found ourselves embraced in the cab of my truck behind a hole in the wall bar, our hands gently wandering and exploring each others skin wherever they may.

That first kiss, electric yet entirely free of any responsibility for what the future may bring, lasted for what seemed an eternity.  As this song played in the background, it seemed to stop time in it's tracks.

It felt like the beginning, the end, and everything in between.


In the months and years that followed we affirmed each others sense of who were were.

Then the unthinkable happened.

We have not spoken in a year...

Not since that night we went out separate ways... that fateful night that ended in a fit of anger and misunderstanding.

To this day, each of us remains too proud to contact the other.

Many lovers have come and gone since her, but none could ever begin to fill the void she left.

And as I try to live the lie that she was just another soul to come and go in the grand parade of part time lovers in my life... I heard this song tonight and it all came flooding back.

I was wrong.  She was wrong... none of it matters.

What matters is that... growing old... is getting old...

Time is running out... and before you know it  the one you loved so dear will forever be gone.

Forever separated by a sea of pride and the unforgiving forces, and unrelenting march, of time.

Uploaded 11/29/2010
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