Man Sues Whole Damned Internet

Warning: Strong language content. Plus, I may piss you off. Too bad.

This is in regards to the earlier eBaums post on:

All I can say is: Fuck off into a coma you sons of bitches. No, not Sheldon Goldberg or the numerous assholes like him. Yes they are perpetrators of hideous legal wranglings, but if you want to find fault, don't blame him. Blame yourselves.

You want to know why? Tough; because I'm going to spout it anyway. Yes, network software existed prior to the Internet, primarily running on University networks and privately owned BBS networks. But then several individuals including Bill Clinton and Al Gore (you remember when everyone laughed their ass off at him when he said he took steps to create the Internet) said they envisioned a network where data would be freely exchanged so that in the event of catastrophe there would be minimal data loss. The name they envisioned was “The Information Superhighway” but people wound up calling it the Internet.

But he was mocked, falling low enough in the polls to allow the election of George Bush. Bush allowed trade-offs, implementing a poorly-enforced anti-telemarketing bill but allowing huge sections of the Internet to be monopolized by companies like Time Warner and NBC. The Internet ceased to be about the sharing of data and became more about marketing. This initiated the famous “bubble burst” of the Internet, where several small companies were driven out of business by companies that had the power of stockholders behind them. But nobody seemed to mind. After all, you could now buy stuff from Mall Wart online!

This was further complicated by the “Sonny Bono” Copyright Protection Act, pushed through a Republican congress in 1998. This virtually killed off all chances for P2P sharing, as now material that should have become public license after 20 or 30 years was now not going to be available for between 95 to 150 years. That's right. By the time anything by Hillary Duff becomes freely downloadable it will be your grandchildren that will get to enjoy it. Yet, once again...this seemed to bother nobody.

Then Bush shoved bill 2257 through congress in the guise of a “child protection act”. In reality, it allows the government to go after whoever it wants in regards to porn; even if no intended crime was committed. If someone has material on their site that they cannot verify is a model aged over 18 years, they are subject to child porn laws and fined so heavily it's likely to close their business for good. Since it's virtually impossible to keep track of every picture on the net, this means one picture of a 17 year old on her webcam could shut down any site the government wants to. And it's so easy to upload these days that it could be planted by anyone. Yet everyone feels this will make things better somehow.

And why the hell wasn't Bush impeached when he used executive orders for wiretapping? Don't people know that means that any legal agency anywhere can spy on what you communicate? Obviously he wasn't impeached because nobody cared enough to urge their representatives to start the process.

And eBaums is right about the Eastern Texas Division being notorious for handing out shoddy rulings. Why do you think that it was chosen? But then there are lots of districts like that all over the USA. They could have picked any one of thousands...whichever suited their needs.

Let me make this crystal. The Executive branch consists of elected officials. The Legislative branch consists of elected officials. The Judicial branch consists of elected officials. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. Every time I hear about someone unhappy with their favorite site being closed down or the fact that they can't download a song I think: What the hell? Didn't this person vote? Didn't they make sure that the person they were putting into office was going to give them what they wanted? Didn't they write to their congressperson, governor, or district judge and tell them what they felt was important?

Which is, of course, completely rhetorical. Of course they didn't. Because if they did, then things would be less messed up.

Do you remember the news a few months ago about that ass of a congressman saying “The Internet is a Series of Tubes.” How do you think he got into office? He and others like him were put there by you.

And before any twit gives me the “Well I didn't vote for him” line...really. So what did you do? If you were so aware of his idiocy – his inconceivable selfish stupidity – that you wanted to forbid him from getting into office WHAT DID YOU DO? Obviously, not much. Because there he is in office and here you are complaining about him.

Likewise, I'm also aware that a lot of eBaums subscribers are not of legal age to vote. To them, two bits of advice. might not be young enough to vote, but you are old enough to help. Two...remember what you're reading now, because in a few short years you'll need it to win the war against douche bags.

So now it comes to this. An ass is “suing” the Internet. And he might just get away with it. So let me ask a question that isn't rhetorical. Are YOU going to do anything more than write a comment about how much that pisses you off?

Uploaded 08/01/2008
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