So I’m stopped at the red light and it turns green so I put on blinker to turn left and the asshole behind me honks. I flip him off and yell, “Fuck you, asshole!” which gets the twins crying as I pull into the lot. I always have a front row spot because my weight fucked up my knee and I got a handicapped sticker.
My ashtray is overflowing so I flick the butt out the door and step on it. I gather the kids and put the little ones inside the cart. I tell Deshawn to wipe his nose and he does and I can see how dirty his face is. Last night when we were watching American Idol I told him to take a bath but I swear he never does what I say. In fact…
“You kids better behave in there, I’m not kidding. Don’t ask me for anything, don’t fight and just let me shop in peace or I’ll spank your butts.”
First I get some cheese and milk and juice. I can use my WIC for those. Then I get some more Cheetos (I’m going to hide these so the kids don’t eat them all) some Diet Coke…
Maria and Deshawn have been whining and asking for treats and yapping and yapping but I tune them out. That is a gift we moms have but now they are fighting and Deshawn is crying and screaming. People are looking at us and I want to tell them to fuck off. “Stop it right now.” I say to Deshawn and my bra strap keeps sliding off my shoulder.
As usual he don’t listen so I get in his face. I’m mad now and I want to get home in time for my show. “One…Two…” he is still screaming, “THREE!” I spank his butt and he screams louder.
Some old man says, “Excuse me.” in a really sarcastic way as he pushes my cart aside, shaking his head as he passes. What an asshole. He had room.
In line I pick up the Soap Opera Digest and a Word-Find. I separate my stuff into WIC, food stamps, and cash. I hear someone say something about 20 items or less and ignore him. I got over 20 items but I just want to be home. It is so exhausting being a single mom.
In line the skinny bitch cashier tells me that I got the wrong cheese so they have someone get the right cheese. I also forgot diapers so they have a bag boy go get me some.
Maria is begging for some gum and I tell her AGAIN that mommy’s got no money. I tell the clerk I need 2 packs of Newport 100’s so she has to go over to the locked case to get them. I don’t know why they don’t keep them behind the counter like they used to. Mr. 20-Items says something about being late for work. Fuck him. I wish I worked. It would be easier than being a single mom.
I am 79 cents shy so I have to have her take off the Diet Coke. I won’t be able to buy a Lotto Ticket either. It’s up to 14 million. Man… if I just could win the Lotto…
"Thank you," Skinny Bitch looks at my receipt, "Mrs. Wyttrach, would you like any help out today?"
"Yeah, I'm in the handicapped." I need a cigarette.
To Be Continued…