So I have been having some back spasms for the last couple of months.  I went to bullshit physical therapy and it didn't really do anything.  It didn't help in any way.  They just gave me a massage 3 times a week but without the happy ending it was just some chick doing a bad job and no reward at the end.  But the doctor told me to take some muscle relaxers before bed every night, because it is cold these days and I always wake up and my back is really tight and it takes a while to be able to move.  So Friday roles around and I had a long day at work so I called it a night pretty early.  I took my pill around 8:30 and put in a movie.  A little while later my friend calls me and asks if I want to grab a beer.  Forgetting I took my pill already I headed out.

We get to the bar and I nurse a beer.  The bartender is really hot with an amazing ass (and I'm sure she's nice and all that shit too....) so I was glad I came out.  Then I have one more, but I start to feel really strange.  Not drunk, but out of it.  I decided to go home.

I get to my place and get ready for bed.  I go to take my last minute piss, and just as I am about to finish I completely pass out and do a nose dive into the tank of my toilet.  I busted my lip then flopped backwards and cracked my head on the bathtub.  I woke up pants undone, pinned between my tub and my toilet.  For the record, I didn't piss on myself.  I managed to make it in the toilet.

At least this is how I think it went down.  The last thing I remember was pissing, but evidence leads me to believe the rest is also true.  Everything on my toilet we knocked off, bloody lip, where I landed....  all signs point to the above.  And I'm fucking smart so you should believe me.  Either that or I have a molesting ghost in my place.