I have a confession that I have to make. This will shock many of you.
I just came back home from early voting. Some people have been kicking around this idea called the "Bradley Effect." Essentially, it means that when a white guy, like me, steps into the voting booth, I will suddenly realize that I really don't want a black man in the White House leading our country.
I don't know how to say this... but you all were right. For some reason, when I got into that booth. I just stared at the names...
And then it hit me. "What the fuck am I doing?" It suddenely dawned on me that I had been wrong all along. There was no way I could let a black man be more powerful than me. I knew that a black man would not stand up for my white beliefs. I was ashamed of myself for doubting all of you. But in the end I just couldn't bring myself to vote for Obama. So I voted for McCain.
I voted for Barack Obama! And God it felt so fucking good. I almost came all over the voting machine. 8 years... 8..... fucking.... YEARS I've been waiting to make that vote so I could get these assholes out of Washington. It just proves your stupid theory is wrong. People vote because of their ideals, not the pigment of their skin. What about the racists, you say? They were already voting for McCain. Don't believe me... go ahead, just ask any KKK member. I'll wait.
You know what makes it even better? I live in a swing state. I can't wait to see my state's 15 electorial votes going into the Obama column on election night. Fuck yeah, the reign of Bush terror is over! Go back to Texas you idiot and take McCain, his oil cronies, and all the investment bankers with you. You can start your own country on Bush's ranch if you don't like us being in power. You can call it "DUMBFUKISTAN!"
It's Friday, I'm pumped up, and I'm going to the bar to celebrate. Goodnight!