I just moved into a new apartment.  My first night in apartment 2A I kept hearing footsteps in my kitchen.  I got up to take a look thinking a crackhead had broken in but to my disappointment the kitchen was empty.  The footsteps stopped after I checked it out and went back to sleep. 

This happened a few more nights during my first month but I dismissed it as noises from an old house.  The weird thing was that I would wake up and money would be missing out of my wallet or my watch would be on the floor.  It felt like a ghost was trying to rob me.  I started to become truly terrified.  Something was watching me and it wasn't batman.

After about a month I couldn't take it anymore.  I couldn't bring any money home or it would be missing in the morning.  That sent me into crisis mode.  I talked to the landlord downstairs and was completely freaked by his story.  In the 70's a crackhead named, Koolaid, got into a shootout with police from my apartment and was killed.  As he lay dying in the apartment his last words were, "why did you shoot me over a crack-rock?  I will haunt anyone that moves into this apartment, motherfuckers."

I completely freaked out.  Then I had an idea.  I drove into a bad part of town and bought a gram of pure crack rock.  I put that on the kitchen table and it compelled the ghost to stop trying to rob me.  I couldn't believe the results.  I had pleased the ghost with a crack-rock.  My landlord was happy I didn't move and I don't have money or credit cards missing.