So i've been working in retail for a few years now and I have always had to help those people with those dumb questions. I have been working at Starbucks for just over a year now, and I have to say, I think I have officially found the definition of stupidity in a few of my customers. I never understood how someone could ask questions like these, but they are asked on a regular basis. I know you might think i am making this stuff up, but I have to be honest. This is too stupid to make up.

One customer came in about a week ago and asked what we served. I couldn't even answer. i just started to laugh. I thought he was kidding. He got mad and started to cuss at me, so I told him "Coffee and coffe beverages. Please notice the word COFFEE in our name". He left and complained about me later. I dont care. Stupidity should be out-lawed. My question here is who in the entire world doesnt know what Starbucks is? I have traveled all around the world and every country I went to had Starbucks. Not to mention like I said yto that guy, the company is called Starbucks COFFEE. How do you miss that? Its in the logo, its in the name. And its not small print either.

About 3 months ago I got a call from someone asking the store address. I read the address directly from the mail on the desk in the back. As I finished telling her the address, she asked, "are you sure?" I told her, hold on. Let me go outside and check. I put her on hold for a couple of minutes, and just sat there. I confirmed the address with her and hung up. My question is WHY would you ask someone if they were sure about the address they gave you? I would understand if I gave the address for a completely different city. But I didnt.

Now this is my favorite stupid person EVER!! If you have to wait too long for your drink, I always make the same dumb joke, but its unexpected and people like the stupidity of the joke so the forgive the wait. I usually tell customers "Sorry about the wait; I had to milk a cow". One lady BELIEVED me!! She asked me where we kept the cow and how often we have to milk it. Again I thought she was kidding, so I said once per hour. She said "REALLY?!?! Wow! You would expect to have to do it more." At that moment I realized she was serious. She started to threaten to call PETA on us for harsh animal treatment. Just as I gave her her drink, She asked where we get our soy milk. I told her from a goat. She said that was the most disgusting thing she ever heard and she was (no joke) on the phone with information asking for the number to PETA. Heres a good question for you. First off, if soy milk comes from goats, where does goat milk come from? I understand that you might not know where soy milk comes from, and thats fine. For future reference, it is made from SOY BEANS. All I know is this lady either had the best poker-face in the world or the worst IQ score in American history.

The last one I have for today is 1 week ago. I was working in the drive though, and a guy pulled up and he asked what kind of tacos we served. I told him we didnt serve them.  I said, "I apologise sir, but we only serve pastries, cold sandwiches, and coffee and tea based beverages." So he asked about burgers and again, I said no and repeated what I said the first time. He then asked "Well do you at least have soda?" I said NO! Like I said, We dont serve anything except cold sandwiches when we have them, tea, coffee, pastries, and anything associated with coffee like coffee beans, makers, and presses." He left after that and he called corporate for my being rude to him. My question here is What the F***? How do you not understand "NO". I know there is a spanish word that sounds just like it, and its even spelled the same, but it means the freaking same damn thing!

I do have alot more stupid customers, but I cant think of them right now, so i will write more as I either get more, or remember more. Take care everyone and please, be smart.

CWBY^

Chris