Bo discussing his superpowers made me recall my own fantasies of being superhuman.  I used to wish that I could detonate people's heads with mind powers.  Inconsiderate drivers?  BOOM!  Are you about to be mugged?  BOOM!  Feeling persecuted by a subhuman loser?  BOOM! 

As I got older, I realized that head detonating powers would not be practical.  In the short term, you have not sped up traffic at all by making a driver's head explode.  If an idiot person checking you out at the grocery store turns into a fountain of brains too often, you might even have some explaining to do.

Over time I've modified my superpower wishes to be more useful in a daily setting.  I wish I had the power to make somebody shit their pants.  I'm not talking about a little poo poo either.  I'm talking total intestinal void.  Imagine the applications of being able to make somebody totally fill their pants with an obscene stew of foaming shit.  This ability would have all of the upside of head detonating and few of the downsides.

Inconsiderate driver?  FRAPPPPPP!  About to be mugged?  FRAPPPPPP!  Feeling persecuted by a subhuman loser?  FRAPPPPPP!  You could even make that woman who yelled "Heil Hitler" at the Jewish guy explaining Isreal's health care system during the Vegas town hall the other day double over with cramps and send a fountain of shit straight down her leg.  You could stop riots by making everybody simultaneously shart a quart of colon jelly.  That would stop a riot in a finger snap.  You try to flip over a cop car or jack a plasma TV with ass stew pouring down your leg and a miasma of shit stink around you.

My daughter wants to write a comic based on this character.  We're torn between the names of Captain Cathartic and Mr. Brown. 

"Stop evil doer!"  FRAPPPPPP!   "Feel the cramps of justice, evildoer!"  FRAPPPPPP!  "Don't make me open a can of shit ass on you!"  FRAPPPPPP!