Ohayou, guys! I noticed a lot of people on Ebaum's World watch those retarded Japanese cartoons and some like to watch Japanese horror movies (Japanese cinema is some of the worst in the world; best watch Korean horror flicks, because most of the Japanese ones are Korean movie rip offs). Either way, I decided it would be cool to teach you some Japanese basics in a way very easy to remember. I'm certain that I'd be a brilliant teacher, so I guess this is gonna be a great way for you to learn.

The basics:

Yes - Yes is "high" in Japanese. You write it differently, but who gives a shit? You're supposed to learn how to speak it and memorise it. It also sounds like "hi." Whichever you prefer. 

No - No is "yeah" in Japanese. Remember it's the opposite. It sounds more like "yee-eeah" and you cut off the ending.

Thanks - imagine how Arnold Schwarzenegger would say "alligator." Yep, that's how you say "thanks" in Japanese.

Toyota - surprisingly, Toyota is called the same in Japanese - "toyota."

Faggot - a very important word to learn. You need to know if somebody called you a homo. Faggot is "okama" in Japanese. Whenever someone calls you an okama, you have to say "Okama ja nai," meaning "I'm not a faggot." Otherwise they might think you're a faggot.

Penis - penis is "chinpo" in Japanese. Other versions are "penisu" and "inkei." There's 87 different ways to say 'penis' in Japanese. To say "my penis is big" in Japanese is quite simple. It's "Ore no penisu wa ooki desu" (if you're a man) or "Atashi no penisu wa ooki desu." It's important to learn the difference - men say "ore" when they refer to themselves and women use more feminine - "watashi," "atashi" or "uchi."

That's the basics. Feel free to write questions and suggestions in the comments. Did you learn easily? Am I an awesome teacher? I encourage any kind of praise towards me and my teaching methods