Never punch a gift-horse in the mouth...

So I am woken up by my girlfriend calling my name repeatedly.  I have no idea why, because she knows I work third shift and it's difficult enough to sleep when the sun is up.  I roll out of bed to see what's going on.  Turns out she's sitting on the couch in her pj's, lonely, and looking at me like i'm some kind of asshole for "sleeping the day away".  What a selfish moron.

Well, I figure I'm up, so I might as well get some food.  I get a bowl of cereal and sit on the couch with her.  She's watching some stupid show about decorating birthday cakes or some shit.  I start falling back asleep and she comes over and tries to play by sitting on me and out of nowhere she sack taps me.  This is normal for her to do, but she should understand that I'm not in the mood for this.  I tell her not to do it anymore but she keeps playing.  I figure it's no big deal because she won't do it again.  Wrong.  The bitch slaps my nut again even harder; just when I thought she forgot about it.

I get up and start doing chores and stuff because:

  1. Our house is starting to look like Haiti
  2. I don't want to be around her
  3. I need to get things done since she doesn't lift a finger

She whines about how I should spend time with her and the baby, etc, etc.  So I stop what I'm doing and sit down on the floor with my son.  He's happy as hell because he has all these new toys from his birthday.  The girlfriend stands up from the couch, aims her butt at me and promptly rips one in my face.  Yeah, guys.  Chicks fart too.

My fist goes up so I decide I need to get out of there.  I tell her I'm going out.  I get dressed and grab all my stuff.  She's bitching at me the whole time about me leaving her alone.  No apology though.I get outside and look at our cars. There's my car with a foot of snow on it, since I work from home and don't have to drive anywhere. Then there's her car which is perfectly brushed off and an All-Wheel Drive which is way better in this snow.  I drive her car often and she drives mine.  We have it worked out.  I remember her sitting in her pajamas on the couch, so I know she isn't going anywhere.  Plus, she never goes anywhere on Sundays.

I start her car up and decide I'll just head to the store to pick up some cokes for the Superbowl.  She probably won't even look outside.

As soon as I get to the end of the block, my phone is ringing.  I answer and she tells me, "bring my car back right now!" I tell her no and keep driving.  Who does she think she is?  She thinks she controls my actions?  After treating me like a rag doll and a toilet?  Fuck that.

Then she says, "I need to go somewhere!"  I know it's bullshit.  I ask her where she's going and she says she needs to take our boy somewhere.  I have a heart for my boy, so I tell her I'll go to the store and then come back.  She continues to throw a fit, even though the store is 3 minutes away.  She hangs up.

She calls me back a minute later saying that if I don't come home right now, she will break something of mine.  She's played this game before, so I just call her on it.  I tell her to do it.  She just breaks a CD or something useless.  She isn't dumb enough to break anything expensive.

I go in the store, find a case of Coke, and on my way out she calls again.  She says she did it.  She broke my Playstation 3.  I think for a second the ridiculousness of the situation and decide there's no way she actually did it.  I think she knew those gears were turning in my head, because she suddenly asks me if I want her to send me a picture.  I say, "sure."

I get the picture and my heart sinks.  The bitch fucking broke it.Let me put this in perspective here.  She bought me the PS3 for my birthday.  It was the Metal Gear Solid pack.  $499.  80GB HDD.  They don't make them anymore.  It is the last model that plays PS2 games.  I watch Netflix on it constantly.  I collect video game systems.  I backed up our baby photos on it.  I just got Modern Warfare 2 from her for Christmas.  It's my only Blu-Ray player.  It was the best gift anyone ever got me.  She knew this and it didn't even cross her mind when she decided to smash it.  This woman has no soul.

I text her back, "I hope you're happy. you are insane and that costs hundreds for you to replace."

I leave the store and as I'm driving home I start thinking about the domestic assault that might take place when I get home.  I would never hit a woman but after she did this and I didn't give her the response she was looking for, I have a feeling she will get physical when I get home.

I pull in the driveway and as I go around to get the case, I get another text.  "i warned u. u pushed my buttons by taking my car. u dont take someones car. get back here we need to talk"

Expecting the worst, I try opening the front door, but it's locked.  I take out my key and unlock it.  I open the door and it stops.  The stupid chain is on it.  I have to reach my fingers in the space to get it open.  Not very theft-deterrent, I know.  I'm fiddling with the stupid chain and trying to do it as quick as I can, because at any moment she could shut the door on my hand or stab me with a knife, etc.

After half a minute, I get the door open and she's back to what she does best.  Sitting on the couch.  I walk into the living room and see my system on the floor in pieces.  I sit down on the couch and we start our finger-pointing.

We go back and forth about who did the worse thing, to which I have to keep from laughing.  I borrow her car and she does something permanent like this.  She says something about a car being worth more, and I tell her what I have isn't worth anything anymore.  She tells me how she called her mom and her mom said we were both wrong.  I refrain from saying some cold shit about her family.  I hate this girl right now, but I want respect, so I show it.  Even when I want to wring her neck.  In the end, she realizes that what she did was a totally unacceptable reaction to something like me borrowing her car.  Still, like a pussy, I apologize to her for taking her car without asking.  I know with her it's the only way to get the dialogue moving.She starts crying and talking about how she doesn't know what came over her.  I tell her she has a terrible temper and I grew up with parents like that.  She grew up with parents like that.  But I won't have my son growing up with parents like that.  I tell her to get out of the house because I can't stand the sight of her.  She can leave the kid if she wants, but we are done.  For now, she needs to be somewhere else.  I would leave again, but we all know what happened the last time I left her alone with my things.

She tells me how there's nowhere for her to go, etc.  I tell her I don't care where she goes as long as it isn't here.  She starts begging and pleading.  I want to kick her ass to the curb, because this wasn't the first time and I know this isn't over.  She will do the same thing again.  But on the other hand, we have been together for years.  We DO have a son together.  And I realize I can probably get away with anything because of this.

I sigh and tell her about how much I loved it and how she took my greatest gift and made it worthless.  Useless.  Tainted by her spite.  She cries again.  I tell her to make me some dinner while I check it out and see if it's a total loss.

The Playstation fires up just like normal.  I test everything out, and it looks like the damage is all cosmetic.  Still, as a collector, I have no use for it in the long run.  She knows I collect, so I'm not just sticking it to her if that's what you think.  When she comes out to ask me if it's all ok, I tell her it works, but she still needs to buy me a new one.  She agrees.

However, she asks me not to tell anyone we know about what happened.  I don't think that's a fair request, seeing as it only allows her to get away with being a crazy bitch to me.  And I seem to remember her telling her mother.  When I pointed this out, she tells me that I can tell my mom if I want.  So considerate.

So I want to hear your opinions of what I should ask her.  Should I tell other people we know?  Is that the only way she will learn?

Uploaded 02/08/2010
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