Hello.  I feel I must express my views on a few subjects of particular interest.  This is necessary because, according to my calculations, I am 1,927 times smarter than the average person. 

One of the first topics I would like to cover is dragon shirts. Dragon shirts are the epitome of Vin-Dieseltude, which is a terrible condition.  Additionally, most individuals who are able to bring themselves to wear a dragon shirt have been sexually intimate with a dragon.  I know this sounds absurd, but you must remember that Komodo Dragons still count.  No joke.

The next thing I want to discuss is flip-flops.  Flip-flops, in my opinion, which is representative of the opinion of all self-respecting human beings, are, in essence, symbolic representations of confused gender identities.  By this I mean that males who wear flip flop sandals are, in all likelihood, attracted to Alabaman male humans.  Enough on this subject, which is self-explanatory.

My final topic of discussion will be dinosaurs, which never existed.  Dinosaurs are the ancient equivalent of kangaroos, a creature equally unbelievable as a brontosaurus.  A cat with a pouch?  Are you kidding me?

My point, in essence, is that you are stupid.  Yes.  I'm serious.  I hate you.  Just kidding.  I don't hate you, but seriously you are very dumb.  I am much smarter than you.  If you disagree, prove it.  Bitch.