RJM, a short Bio.

Normally I don't reveal the content of my PMs but I figured if someone wants to know the real me, maybe my blog buddies do too! I wrote a short bio for someone who claims to have a crush on me, and despite my flaws, she still seems to have a bizarre infatuation with me.  Perplexing, I know...


Actually I'm pretty ugly.  I'm 4-ft nothing and eat 5 times the daily values of, well, everything.  Except zinc, it makes my skin look tan... My waistline exceeds the wheelbase of a Kentworth, and I smell like compunds found only in the wetlands of Peru.  One eye is bigger than the other two, and I have a cleft palate.  When my mother botched my abortion I was left with half of one arm. I have 8 fingers on the other arm as a result of the cocaine she consumed during my conception.  My IQ is 32 and my SAT score was 4.  When I was 5, I was finally let out of the basement and had to learn to speak, write and read on my own and fend for myself.  It was hard times and I turned to alcohol and drugs.  By the time I was 7 I became a male prostitute and eased off the hard drugs.  I learned to be self-sufficient at an early age and I saved the money for college.  But then I blew it all one night in Vegas on cheap whores and an ill-informed bet on a horse named Three-Leg Limpy.  I then spent the next 4 years training terrorist in Libya and Afghanistan.  One was a promising young boy named Osama.  I taught him everything I knew.  When they discovered I was jewish I had to make a daring escape and nearly lost my life when a stick was thrown just inches from my head.  I then returned to the States as a used car salesman and have lived the simple life ever since.

Thanks for the handkerchief!  I attached a picture of my anatomy as thanks!

[Attached Image: RyansGiantPenis.jpg]
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Uploaded 11/30/2008
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