This was for PoisonIV after she already rejected me...
"PoisonIV: Why are you still talking to me?"
It is my life's ambition to stalk you. (Or at least my half-hearted attempt to do something to amuse myself on eBaums while working long hours.) You won't get away that easily! I am far too obsessive, impulsive, delusional, and indulge way too much in the Poison, if you will, of improvisational relationships on the internet by pretending to be better looking, funnier, younger, smarter, stronger and richer than I actually am, to let someone on eBaums reject me in such a way that destroys my almost entirely depleted self-confidence and therefore ability to ever have a real-life relationship with a human being of the opposite gender who has any respect for me, thereby denying me any chance to ever have a meaningful relationship, healthy offspring, and/or a faithful marriage. In the meantime I will prove, despite my complete lack of emotional stability, I'm incredibly focused and do not give up easily, and will demonstrate my persistence by trying to force friendships with your closest friends, establish a frighteningly close relationship with your mom, start showing up at your gym, grocery store, book store, work, boyfriend's apartment complex, OBGYN, and occasionally even your bedroom window at 2:30 in the morning. Therefore you must make a decision and either make me your buddy, mostly out of guilt in a shallow attempt to keep my virtually non-existent dignity up to a level where you falsely hope I might find a girlfriend and forget about you, all the while trying to distance yourself from me in an awkward attempt to live your own life in desperate desire of never seeing me again, which will not happen... Or file a restraining order."
...I was served today.