Screw you 20 states that want to Secede from USA
Hiesenburg
Published
11/13/2012
Now that Obama has become President and started his own Kenyan Dynasty, 20 states have signed petitions to secede from their home country. Why you ask? The answer is simple, they are butthurt. 1st off secession is illegal, so they are wasting their and our most precious thing: Time. That in itself should bring criminal charges for each every person who signed this petition.
Lets take a look at these states one by one.
Florida: We decided the president with out you so you automatically don't count.
Texas: Your state is too big and uses too many resources. Bigger is not better. Typical Americans.
Alabama: Most of the names on their petition consist of Cletus, Homer, and Eddy Jean. Also most people in Alabama are related.
Arkansas: You spelled your states name wrong. It should end with a "W".
Louisiana: We tried to get rid of you during Hurricane Katrina...can't you take a hint?
Indiana: This state once passed a law that Pi does not equal 3.14, they argued it equals. So you are all idiots and your petition is null and void.
Kentucky: I blame this state for Americas obesity epidemic. They were the first state to serve cheeseburgers and introduced Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Michigan: Madonna was born there.
Mississippi: Your state is hard to spell. This state has the largest amount of churches per capita. I see now why you guys have a petition.
Montana: You cannot say "crick" when referring to a "creek". It is a disgusting misuse of the American-English language.
New Jersey: There is nothing good to say so I won't say anything at all.
New York: Your sodas are too small.
North Carolina: You grow the most tobacco in the US and I hold you responsible fro lung Cancer.
North Dakota: Canadians discovered you, so really your not part of the US anyway.
South Carolina: You can't copy the name of the state to the North. You are a copy cat and probably just copy-pasted North carolinas petition.
Tennessee: You flooded the US with country music. nuff said.
Oregon: You have more ghost towns than any other state. I hope you die and make the first "ghost state".
There you have it, people. These states already sucked anyway. So lets give these states what they want, a civil war. I have my musket and my bayonette is sharpened any horse was just shoed yesterday. Rise up people.
Lets take a look at these states one by one.
Florida: We decided the president with out you so you automatically don't count.
Texas: Your state is too big and uses too many resources. Bigger is not better. Typical Americans.
Alabama: Most of the names on their petition consist of Cletus, Homer, and Eddy Jean. Also most people in Alabama are related.
Arkansas: You spelled your states name wrong. It should end with a "W".
Louisiana: We tried to get rid of you during Hurricane Katrina...can't you take a hint?
Indiana: This state once passed a law that Pi does not equal 3.14, they argued it equals. So you are all idiots and your petition is null and void.
Kentucky: I blame this state for Americas obesity epidemic. They were the first state to serve cheeseburgers and introduced Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Michigan: Madonna was born there.
Mississippi: Your state is hard to spell. This state has the largest amount of churches per capita. I see now why you guys have a petition.
Montana: You cannot say "crick" when referring to a "creek". It is a disgusting misuse of the American-English language.
New Jersey: There is nothing good to say so I won't say anything at all.
New York: Your sodas are too small.
North Carolina: You grow the most tobacco in the US and I hold you responsible fro lung Cancer.
North Dakota: Canadians discovered you, so really your not part of the US anyway.
South Carolina: You can't copy the name of the state to the North. You are a copy cat and probably just copy-pasted North carolinas petition.
Tennessee: You flooded the US with country music. nuff said.
Oregon: You have more ghost towns than any other state. I hope you die and make the first "ghost state".
There you have it, people. These states already sucked anyway. So lets give these states what they want, a civil war. I have my musket and my bayonette is sharpened any horse was just shoed yesterday. Rise up people.
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