The screwdriver is possibly one of alchemy's greatest achievements. It's sort of like the pan-galactic-gargle-blaster from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Let me elaborate...

For those of you who don't know what a screwdriver is... It's, at it's basic core, orange juice and vodka. But, hear me out. The virtues of the drink come in around the time you start to get old (early 20's) and begin to have hangovers.

See, when I was a young lad, drinking underaged. I never got hangovers. I could get shithammered drunk one night, and do the same thing the next night.

Now, weither it be through liver abuse, or just straight up wear'n'tear. I get hangovers when I consume large amounts of alcohol.

BUT, the magic, as I've been alluding to, of the screwdriver, is that it possesses a large contingent of Vitamin C! Yes, yes, not many of us know what exactly vitamic C is good for, and I assure you, there has been no scientific study of vitamin C's effect on hangovers (for whatever reason, I haven't a clue) But, I can definitely say, that there's something within this orange elixer that, somehow, removes the hangover the next day!

This study has been exhausting, and has required many, many weekends of hard labor to come to the conclusion, that any drink mixed with orange juice = mucho winno.

I can only hope that the fruits of my labor can ease the pain and suffering of many hundreds of thousands of students nursing the ill-effects of a hangover. For too long this travesty has plagued the skulls of our future generations. Thank you, and have a good weekend.

Uploaded 08/09/2008
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