A few of the pals and I were chit-chatting last night while watching a taped Liverpool game from the other week (they lost...waste of fucking time that was) and got on the topic of how we would like to die.

Everyone agreed that "quietly in their sleep" was the most desired, but then we started think of ways that would really leave a mark on society. You know, dying in a way where people years from that time would think "Fuck yeah...he really did that right!". Morbid as it is, it turned out to be a pretty funny conversation. The point was to come up with the most redicilous death imaginable. We then got on the topic of the Darwin Awards, and snowballed (not "that" kind of snowball) ideas from there.

my first choice for an unconventional death was by accidental Christmas light hanging, but since I already know what its like to be hung (zing!!), I change my answer to "bungee jumping from a 400ft. height with a 500ft length of cord". Yeah, people would think I was a supreme fuck-tard, but at least they'd remember something about me.

My friend Chad said he would like to go by way of "extreme ingestion". He would get as much take-out as he could afford from every fast food joint imaginable, and eat until he died from it. One sitting...no shitting. (His words, not mine.)

A few other noteable idiot-deaths included:

-Death by cat hair consumption

-Accidently drowning in a toilet (non-booze related)

-Bleed out from a rectal tear caused by too many kitchen fork punctures (one of mine)

-Birthday cake suffocation

-Bleach coffee

-Fatal head injury caused by a motorcycle helmet falling onto you skull

That's all I can remember right now. There were some real gems I've forgotten. What do you think would be the worst and most embarassing or sweetly ironic way to die? If I had to die before my time, I'd want it to be slightly embarassing. How about you?

And to think, if Liverpool had of pulled their shit together in the second half, maybe you wouldn't have to be reading this monkey-stank blog right now...just a thought.

Cheers,

-The Big Bad