Smoking In The Boy's Room

Out of necessity this afternoon I had to go hit up our local mall for some shit I needed. I hate the mall, so the objective was to be in and out in under ten minutes. (Also a motto of Sanchez's....zing!)


Alas, my short attention span got the better of me and I was distracted by some flashy new shit in the electronics store. After pissing about in there for near half an hour I went into the book store, got a coffee and spent the next hour or so picking out new material to read. After all the dicking about was done, I eventually went to the two stores I had intended to hit on the visit.


Not long after I had all items in hand and was ready to head back to the car when the coffee suddenly crept up on me and I had to pee. Normally I'd refrain from using the public pisser, but this couldn't wait. So, in I go to have a piss.


The second I walked in I could smell the too-familiar smell of smoke. In one of the stalls I can see a plume of smoke drifting up to the ceiling, so it was obvious to anyone in the pisser exactly who was doing it. Normally, I don't give two shits about people smoking, but this time it really bothered me. The reason: there were two very young kids in the washroom with us.


I'm a smoker myself, so I know all the hastles and bullshit rules imposed upon us here. In Ontario, you cannot smoke any closer then 25 feet from a public entrance way, anywhere near a health care facillity (hospital or doctor's office...not even in the parking lot in your own car!), or anywhere smoke may become restricted from hitting open air (bar patios, convention tents, under large over-hangs of buildings, etc;). It should be obvious that smoking inside a public place is prohibited.


There was another fellow in the washroom with us all, some douche-y little high school prick with those skinny ass jeans, a My Chemical Romance t-shirt and makeup around the eyes. For some reason (prejudice, I suppose) I assumed the cock in the stall was a pal of emo-tastic's and he was waiting for him to finish a smash or something. So, Little Wonder looks at me, does a head bob to the stall door and makes a "some people, huh?" face at me. I nodded, said to him "Yeah...shitty, huh?" and went to the urinal.


From behind me at the sinks I can hear this kid running the water. I finished up and turned around just in time to see him soaking a giant heap of paper towel under the faucet. (A GIANT heap.) He then smiles, lifts the soaking wet and dripping mass of sogginess from under the sink and throws it over the stall door...right onto the lap of the guy in there smoking! (I assume the lap due to the sloppy wet "slosh" sound it made and the giant water soak on his pants and shirt when he exited the stall.) The kid yelled something like "no smoking asshole" as he ran from the washroom laughing.


After a very startled and angry "What the fuck" from the shitter-smoker, the stall door flies open and the guy is on his feet, soaked from waist down. He looks at me, then whips his head around the room trying to find the kid. I can't control my laughter at this point, and the guy tells me to fuck off as he peels past me out into the mall in a vain attempt to locate the kid.


I was quite surprised at the whole ordeal. Of all the people to take offence to some guy smoking in a public pisser, the little punk asshole kid would have been the last one  in there I would imagine standing up to this guy. (Hell, I didn't feel like getting involved and was going to ignore it myself.) Kudos to you, emo-kid, for making a stand and (creatively) enforcing the laws on public behaviours and activities. You've made me a little less likely to judge you teenager lot now. 


...My Chemical Romance still sucks ass though. Bunch of prissy whiners.


Thanks for reading,

-The Big Bad

Uploaded 06/07/2009
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