So I've been the other guy for over a year.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half.  Its been complex.   When we met, she had a fiance.  Whom she still has.  Ive been the other guy the whole time.  But she swore she was only with him cuz she couldnt afford to pay her bills and he paid everything, including buying her car. 

She even moved in with me about six months ago.  An hour away from her fiance.  She told him it was for school.  (I live in a college town).  When she moved in, I kinda started blowing off alot of my friends.  I finally felt like she was completely mine.   I loved it.  Eventually a friend made a comment about me never hanging out cuz she was around.  She heard about it and freaked out.  She didnt bother talking to me about it or anything.  She just left.  ive been miserable ever since she left.  I tried talkin her into coming back, but she refuses to talk about it.  So I decided that if I was going to be happy and pick myself up again, I couldnt be with her.  I mean, long distance relationships are hard enough, but when shes got a fiance, it gets alot tougher.  Plus text messaging is a sorry excuse for human interaction.  I need that intamacy of being with that person. 

I hated it before.  I never knew when Id get to see her.  I know, " how can I love someone who has a fiance?"  But I managed.  It wasnt easy.  It botherred me the entire time.  But she assured me there was nothing she could do about him or she'd lose her car and everything.  I didnt want to see that happen to her.  I feel like she put my friend's shitty comment over my feelings.  I broke up with her today.  So i'm home and I'm a mess. 

Uploaded 08/09/2008
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