Something Is Horribly Wrong With Me.

It started Thursday morning. I noticed my stool was vibrant green, almost luminous. I figured it was because I'm eating a lot  of fresh fruits and vegetables that are now local here. It's so wonderful to eat local, fresh, tasty foods at this time of year. Oh, the peaches are so juicy and sweet, it's pure heaven. But I digress.

After my shower on Thursday, I started to sweat profusely while working.  I stank so bad, that I was relieved my customer was not there to suffer it. My son, who was helping, complained so profusely that I undertook some exterior work while he finished up inside. 

I don't usually use deodorant as I usually have very little body odour as long as I shower twice a day. After my evening shower I sat on the couch with my wife and she winced when I stretched my arms. In just a few minutes and she said I smelled like fermenting apples.

Friday I woke up and my wife bitterly complained that I smelled like rotten garbage. So I took a shower and on Friday the same thing happened and even I was repulsed. Today, Saturday, I went to the supermarket and I literally cleared aisles. People actually left the meat department before picking up their meat. At the check out, the gay cashier was in complete shock and the young girl who was supposed to help bag, stood back and just cringed. 

So I immediately returned home had another shower doused myself in deodorant and Wild Country cologne. I purchased Drysol and dousing different areas of my body trying to determine the source of the stink. I'll keep you posted. Seeing a doctor on Tuesday because Monday is a holiday and my birthday. I've been cursed!! My wife says I smell like a homeless man???

Uploaded 09/01/2012
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