So, time for me to address the subject of stereotypes. I was having a chat with my dumb mick of a friend john the other day, and I called him a drunk mick. His response to me was “Hey, that’s a stereotype, all Irish people are not drunks.” See now this is where the word stereotype starts to get tainted. A stereotype is a broad generalization about a large group of individuals. It does not necessarily apply to everyone in that group, but usually to a large majority. In this case, I feel I’m right, being half irish myself, I know very well that most irish people are fuckin drunks, and I’m sure most of you agree. That’s the whole point of a stereotype, it has to be at least somewhat true, or it wouldn’t fucking exist. Let’s run through the stereotypes of the different races, and I’ll let you all decide how accurate they are. I’m sure most of you arrogant pricks will get to your own race/ethnicity and have that be the only one you disagree with, while laughing wildly at all the others, and if that’s the case, fuck you, you can be part of the douche bag stereotype group.
Italians (I’ll start with my own people so you can all stop complaining like little whiney liberal schoolgirls) – They eat a lot, talk with their hands, have greasy haircuts, terrible pronunciation, and chances are, will kill you and your entire family for something stupid like flipping them the bird after they cut you off. We also are probably the most racist of the bunch, and know it. Majority of us have the intelligence of a 4th grader, and will talk and talk and talk regardless of how little we actually know about the subject. Now it’s your guys turns.
Irish – You’re a bunch of drunks and you have small penises, and are probably the ugliest mother fuckers on the planet. Let’s be real, you’re the culture that gave us the leprechaun, now tell me that’s not the creepiest and ugliest of all the folk lore creatures and I’ll call you a liar.
Jews – You’re fuckin cheap. You know you’re fuckin cheap. We know you’re fuckin cheap. Just get over the fact that everyone knows you’re cheap sheisty bastards, and we can all move on as a society. Also, you think you’re gods gift to humanity, well guess what, I’m pretty sure you’re the only people on the planet who believe that, and the rest of us wouldn’t be even slightly remorseful if you all disappeared off the face of the planet. When we all die eventually and find out that you were wrong about hell existing, I hope heaven is giving glass bottom boat tours of hell so all the good jews and the rest of heavens select can look down and go “wow, good thing we weren’t total bastards our entire lives, cause that looks miserable down there.” In all fairness though, I’ll probably be down there with you.
Blacks – Slavery was over 150 years ago, none of you people were slaves, get over it. And yes by YOU PEOPLE I mean blacks. Yes it was terrible, but even the jews stopped complaining about the holocaust, and that happened much more recently. Look, we understand that slavery was terrible, we even understand that you’re treated unfairly in this country, but the fact of the matter is that if you’re gonna use something like slavery, which was one of the most shameful periods in American history, to justify being a bunch of needy pricks who refuse to participate in anything unless you get a 10 minute head start on the white guy because some relative you never met, who probably died before you were born, was a slave, then you’re never gonna be equal. Equality, which you use to justify everything you do, is never gonna happen because you can’t let go of something that we’ve acknowledged was terrible. Let me ask you something, did all of you come from Africa? Because personally, I think the fact that you approve of the term African American when anyone with half a brain knows that dark skinned people come from more then one country makes you look like a bunch of morons. If you really want equality, stop acting like the middle child who never gets what he deserves and just accept that bad things happened and it’s time to move on. Affirmative action, by the way, was bullshit.
Well these are the only groups I really felt like tearing into, I’m sure I’ll think of more, and I’m sure you’ll all think im a big time racist, but hopefully some of you agree. Feel free to comment, negatively or positively, I look forward to your feeback. And all you black people, don’t take it personally that I wrote the most about you, I just lived in Brooklyn for 10 years, so I have what I consider a lot of insight on your people. I’m not really a racist, I mean, I’m just pointing out what everyone else thinks, even about my own race, so hey, don’t bitch, just comment. Feel free to add other races by the way too.