Stop pee'ing in the Ocean

This from my groundbreaking research using only peer-reviewed scientific methods and measurements of actual warm spots caused by *gasp* pee.

There is only one solution to this problem which promises to not only destroy humanity as we know it, but will also make the ocean smell an awful lot like a trough urinal at the ballpark after a Phillies game. Rather than go through the tedious tasks of making a movie and being awarded a Nobel Prize, I've decided to warn all of my EPeeps first of this grave calamity, and to offer my own elegant (and very profitable) solution to this dire crisis.

Pee Credits.

Yes, in order to save the world and allow me to purchase some prime beachfront property I am offering a way for you to continue to pee without the associated guilt of damaging the planet. For every time anyone wants to take a leak all you have to do is purchase a Pee Credit (from me of course), then I will have some third world denizen hold his own pee, thus keeping the global Pee-O-2 levels constant. That way, affluent limosine liberals will feel so much better about themselves knowing that thay can squeeze a whizz while not being burdened with doubts about the survival of mankind.

So, as I jet around the world to raise awareness, I feel perfectly allright leaching the lizard in the lavatory of my private jet because Miguel is keeping up his end of the bargain, even though he's beginning to look a little like a pregnant humpback with yellow eyes and a pained grimace.

My friends, thank you for doing your part in saving the planet, and remember that denial is not a river in's a river of pee!
Uploaded 11/24/2011
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It