This blog is for any guys out there having problems connecting with the opposite sex.  Here are some sure fire-pick up lines that are GUARANTEED to work.  Memorize them, and before you know it, you're weekend will be booked for the next two years. 

If you have any of your own, feel free to add to the list

1) Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea.  I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?  Because I'd like to sign you out

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you were a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away..

8) I know I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

9) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

10) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep til afternoon.  

11) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

DISCLAIMER:  None of these actually work.  Using them may result in female aggression, rejection, and in some cases, violence.  Then again, even a blind pig finds a chestnut now and then.